Embracing Joy and Struggle (in that order)

What if strength didn’t always have to come after the storm?


In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it
means to embrace both joy and struggle—without letting one cancel
out the other. Because too often as Black women, are taught that
joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s
the reward, not the right.


But what if we flipped the script?


In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it
means to embrace both joy and struggle as a Black woman—without
letting one cancel out the other. Because too often, we’ve been
taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over.
That it’s the reward, not the right.


But what if we flipped the script?


Inspired by a powerful moment with my granddaughter, I explore
how we’ve been conditioned to lead with the hard stuff first—and
how that habit is rooted in generations of inherited struggle.
But here’s the truth: your life is big enough to hold both.


This episode is your reminder that:




Joy isn’t selfish.




Ease doesn’t mean you’re lazy.




You don’t have to brace for the worst before naming
what’s good.




Whether you’re navigating grief, growth, or just trying to get
through the week without falling apart, this one’s for you.


If you’ve been struggling with embracing joy and struggle as a
Black woman—or if you’ve been waiting for the next shoe to drop
every time something good happens—this conversation will feel
like a breath of fresh air.


Pull up a chair and let’s talk about reclaiming softness,
wholeness, and the audacity to lead with joy.
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Shirl is the creator of Support Languages and host of Shades of
Strong — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black
Woman to Supported Black Woman through language, rest, and real
support.