1659 Are You Too Helpful?

Do you feel like you are always doing everything for
everybody trying to make things better? Are you too
helpful?


In fact, you might be addicted to helpfulness. The nurture side
of you is constantly engaged.


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Now helping is a great asset; a positive trait. And nothing you
should be ashamed of.


However, where does personal growth happen if you are always
giving the answers? Plus, who is to say you have the right
answers.


In marriage or any committed relationship, it's convenient to
want to take care of your Sweetheart. You care for him, and you
want to extend that by even doing.


Please know that there is a difference in serving and going
overboard on helpfulness. You might be "over-helping" and not
even know it.


Before we moved down south, my husband moved first because we had
to sell our home. This is the longest time we had been apart
since his schooling way back when. I wasn't sure how he was going
to handle it. What would he eat, since I cook for him? Who would
run his errands and go shopping for him?


Guess what?!? He did it and did it beautifully.


It made me realized that he can do a lot of what I do for him.
Understand, we all have different roles in our marriage and it's
important to know which role you fill.


There may be seasons where you need to do everything. But then
there may be seasons where you serve differently.


The key is knowing if you are serving versus controlling.


Think about it. Being too helpful keeps you in control. Yet you
see it as just helping out like you were raised.


If you find yourself doing absolutely everything, take a closer
look as to your role in the marriage. Are you trying to control?
Or are you really serving?


Are you too helpful?


Regardless if you think you are serving or being too helpful, one
way that will ground you and create a strong foundation in your
marriage is starting with a simple question.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Start with a simple question!

You are not expected to have all the answers in your marriage.
You are not expected to do everything for everybody in the
family.


You set the boundaries and the expectations for how you want to
be treated and the role you play.


You see, most of us don't ask our spouse, "What role do I play in
our marriage?"


So in order to allow you to continue to serve, but not be too
helpful, start with a simple question.


How can I help you?



Because if you don't ask this simple question, it's easy to be
OVER-helpful. And when you feel like you are doing everything,
resentment can build over time along with crippling your spouse's
ability to solve his own problems or grow personally.


But when you ask, "How can I help you?", you have open
communication as to what is needed. You no longer are "in
control" and you're serving.


Don't get in the habit of doing everything for everybody. Reset
those boundaries and ask the simple question, "How can I help
you?".
"Be present in your marriage."

 


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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson


 


Music by Mandisa - Overcomer


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Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
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