Why Do Marriages End?: Dr. Mark Goulston

How can we become better listeners? Why do marriages end? What is
the difference between feeling felt vs. feeling understood? What
are the gender difference when it comes to emotional intimacy?
How do you properly respond to your partner’s emotions? Why don’t
we understand how powerful disappointment can be in our lives?


Dr. Mark Goulston, psychiatrist and author, joins us on the
SuperAge podcast to share his insights on these questions. Dr.
Mark Goulston dropped out of medical school twice due to
depression. After a school counselor believed in him and gave him
a second chance, he finished medical school and wanted pay
forward what that counselor gave him for his future patients.
That is exactly what he is doing with his current practice. From
marriages to eating disorders to strained parent-child
relationships to suicide, Dr. Goulston uses his empathetic
personality and ability to listen to navigate these issues with
his patients. 


What you will learn in this episode: 


How empathy and the ability to listen can help strengthen our
relationships

Why some marriages end

Why strong personalities may have a more difficult time with
emotionally intimate relationships, and how to overcome
that 

The power of feeling felt vs. feeling understood 

How to respond to your partner’s emotions



“Marriages don’t end because we stop loving each other, but
because we stop feeling liked by each other.” 


“Alpha energy is great for success. It’s not good for closeness.
You know, it’s good to have alpha energy. You can build
something, you can build a business, you can grow it, you can
sell it, you can do whatever, but it’s not that good for
emotional intimacy.” 


“One of the reasons women will say ‘Don’t give me advice or
solutions’ is because when they’re sharing something, they want
to just feel less alone in the feeling,  they want to feel
felt by you, because if they feel felt by you, their oxytocin
goes up, their cortisol goes down, their blood flow goes up to
their brain, and then they can give themselves the advice they
need.” 


Listen to the SuperAge podcast wherever you get your pods. 


Connect with Dr. Mark Goulston:


Website - https://markgoulston.com


Instagram -
https://instagram.com/markgoulston?utm_medium=copy_link 


Twitter - https://twitter.com/markgoulston?s=11 


Read one Dr. Goulston’s best-selling book - Just Listen 


Listen to Dr. Goulston’s audio course - Defeating Self-Defeat
https://www.himalaya.com/courses/defeating-self-defeat-3129841?partner-from=15652260&utm_source=partner&utm_medium=mark_goulston


Say hi to the AGEIST team!