18. Sex for one: The intersection of grief and sexuality - Christy Lanterman

Fix the sex and you fix the relationship (according to Esther
Perel). But how does a widowed person deal with the challenges of
their sexual desire for a partner who is no longer here. To make
things even more complex, when spiritual beliefs bring shame,
condemnation and secrecy about sex, what is a healthy path
towards exploring our own sexuality when we are now on our
own? 


Together with my dear friend Christy Lanterman, who is an amazing
counsellor based in Kansas City, I share some of my very personal
journey of struggle and celebration in re-discovering and
-reclaiming my own sexuality after the death of my husband. 


I've heard the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and
in my experience, not having my husband physically present has
certainly increased my desire for intimacy with him. I believe I
am not the only one who feels like this. Death in many instances
can intensify the intimacy desire we feel for our partner, and
unleash a difficult and often complicated path to fulfil the
sexual need we truly crave for. But open and tasteful
conversations about this topic in relationship to grief, are rare
and often avoided


The intersection of grief and sexuality is unique for each
grieving individual, and recognising that our sexual needs and
desires didn't die with our partner is the first step towards
reclaiming our bodies and finding a new expression of this
integral part of being human. 



Christy Lanterman is a master’s level licensed professional
counsellor with emphasis in couples and family therapy. Two years
of experience counselling individuals, couples and families.
Success working with a diverse clientele presenting with a
variety of concerns including trauma, history of physical and
sexual abuse, depression, anxiety, grief, religious wounds,
relationship and family concerns, infidelity, intimacy,
co-parenting, divorce, separation and reunification.


Christy understands that every person’s story and situation is
unique and valid. She is intentional about developing trust and
creating a judgment free space because she sees counselling as a
collaborative process where my primary goal is to meet you at
whatever point in your journey you are today. When working with
couples, she takes a Gottman approach, which integrates empirical
evidence on what makes love last. Based on 40 years of
relationship research, the Gottman approach takes the guess-work
out of how we can cultivate strong and lasting relationships.


You can find out more about Christy and her counselling practice,
on her website
https://www.christylanterman.com/home/about-me?fbclid=IwAR3-KxLE9uQD5nFbyV2heKP3nfvEo_dqw-P9CBGNLhkKe8O53c0GEDFuAKA.
If you would like to book an appointment or get in touch with
Christy click this link
https://www.christylanterman.com/home/contact-me


If you would like to get in touch, please email
tatiana@crazygrief.com or check out my website www.crazygrief.com


Thank you so much for listening. Please share, subscribe and rate
this show so we can continue to make more episodes.


Much love,


Tatiana xo