How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Chris Voss

In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of
Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many
high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation
courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of
the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate
difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business,
romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations
with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in
person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for
and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone
conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key
questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to
ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard
conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone
looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication
skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in
heated discussions.  For show notes, including referenced
articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.
Use Ask Huberman Lab, our new AI-powered platform, for a summary,
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https://livemomentous.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Chris Voss
(00:02:34) Sponsors: LMNT & Waking Up (00:04:59) Negotiation
Mindset, Playfulness (00:11:41) Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music
(00:18:59) “Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing
(00:28:38) Generosity (00:33:06) Sponsor: AG1 (00:33:44) Hostile
Negotiations, Internal Collaboration (00:39:40) Patterns &
Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip” (00:48:15) Urgency, Cons,
Asking Questions (00:54:46) Negotiations, Fair Questions,
Exhausting Adversaries (01:02:18) “Vision Drives Decision”, Human
Nature & Investigation (01:07:47) Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”
(01:15:42) Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective
Cues  (01:20:39) Online/Text Communication; “Straight
Shooters” (01:26:47) Break-ups (Romantic & Professional),
Firing, Resilience (01:32:16) Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes
(01:37:35) Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling
(01:45:17) Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation &
Spirituality (01:51:41) Physical Fitness, Self-Care (01:57:01) Long
Negotiations & Recharging (02:02:40) Hostages, Humanization
& Names (02:08:50) Tactical Empathy, Compassion (02:15:27)
Tool: Mirroring Technique (02:22:20) Tool: Proactive Listening
(02:29:48) Family Members & Negotiations (02:35:21) Self
Restoration, Humor  (02:39:01) Fireside, Communication
Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects (02:47:45) “Sounds Like…”
Perspective (02:50:54) Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple
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