Drop the Mask - For Nice Guys and People Pleaser

Hey, it’s Frederik. This conversation goes straight into the “honest mirror.” If you’ve ever felt numb, over-rational, or stuck in achievement mode while you know, that there has to be more out there. THis one is for you! I’m joined by Carly Stephan, creator of the Personal Light Grid Activation—a somatic way of reconnecting your body’s “points of light” so you can feel grounded, clear, and alive again. We talk about the long journey from head to heart, why comfort and convenience keep us disconnected, emotions as signals (not problems to fix), fear of rejection, and how to begin with simple curiosity.  In this episode: • Head vs heart in Western culture—and how to recalibrate • Numbness, micro-traumas, and why embodiment matters • Heart coherence as a practical bridge between physiology and emotion • Men, fear, and “Can I still love myself after a ‘no’?” • A gentler way to start: follow childlike curiosity, not another 10-step plan 

I recently had two conversations with friends — and both revealed a painful pattern I know many Nice Guys carry: the fear of hurting others. It feels noble, right? To protect someone from pain, to hold yourself back until you’re “healed enough.” But if you are really honest with yourself, most of the time, it’s not about protecting *them*. It’s about protecting *you*. From discomfort. From rejection. From being seen as the bad guy. And in doing so, you not only deny them the chance to choose for themselves — you also deny yourself the life and love you want. In this episode, we break down: - Why avoiding pain is not noble, but fear in disguise - How “protecting her” is really about avoiding your own emotions - Why trust means letting others handle their own pain - How courage in love means risking heartbreak

This week, we’re looking at a subtle but powerful Nice Guy pattern: the urge to fix others. Maybe you recognize it, that you always try to solve people’s problems, lighten their moods, or “fix” their anger and sadness. On the surface, it feels caring. But underneath, it often hides fear: fear of rejection, conflict, or being outcast. I know how this is! For many years, I thought my worth came from being the one who could help, the one who made things better and I was very proud of it. Until I realised - it is a trauma response. It’s survival. It doesn´t come from inspiration but from fear. And I can´t stop doing it…even if I want to. In this episode, I’ll share stories of how this pattern shaped my friendships and emotions, and how you can begin to break free from it.

I used to be proud that I could get along with everyone. That I could fit into any group and be liked by almost anybody. But here’s the truth I later realized: that came at a cost. To be liked, I had to hide my needs, my emotions, even my mistakes. I became a shapeshifter — generous, peaceful, helpful — but not truly me. In this episode, I share how people-pleasing turned me into someone I wasn’t, why it disconnects your head from your heart, and the single most powerful question that helped me come back to my authentic self.