‘Modern Love’: If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect it to be Easy

When Samaiya Mushtaq was growing up, she imagined marrying a kind
Muslim man, and at 21, she did. But while studying to become a
psychiatrist in medical school, she realized her husband couldn’t
meet her emotional needs — something she deeply craved. Despite
the shame she felt, she got a divorce.


In this episode, Mushtaq shares the twists and turns of her
unexpected second chance at love, where service is at the center.
From working in health care during the pandemic to building a
family to undertaking harrowing service trips to Gaza, she found
what she truly needed in a marriage — only after letting go of
what she thought she wanted.


Samaiya Mushtaq’s memoir will be published by Daybreak Press next
winter.


This episode was inspired by her 2023 essay, “Must We Feel Shame
Over Divorce?”


For more Modern Love, search for the show wherever you get your
podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday. 


Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore
everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at
nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.