136: BDSM for Spiritual Transcendence, Embodying Power, + Managing Public Projections with Colette Pervette

Professional dominatrix Colette Pervette joins me to look at BDSM
as a microcosm of the macro culture + our lives, and how you can
find transformation with the intentional embracing of power
roles, toys, tools, scenes--whether that’s with a partner or with
a professional dom.


I’ve brought many experts on to talk about BDSM, but this episode
is hands down my favorite. Probably because Colette has such a
brilliant + academically inclined mind, as well as, someone who
is deeply devoted to spirituality + alchemy.


In this episode, you’ll hear:


Colette’s journey of accessing her power through softness +
quietness

Self-conscious submissives and sub-conscious dominants

Ways to integrate powerplay beyond the confines of the
bedroom

How you can start becoming the top or dominant in your life

Weaving spirituality, symbolism + alchemy in a BDSM practice

How a professional dominatrix designings scenes for clients

Can BDSM re-traumatize wounds? Can BDSM heal deep wounds?

Dispelling the misconceptions of submissives being "weak" or
"powerless"

Steps for couples to explore BDSM and play

When do you hire a pro-domme to facilitate the scene?

Qualities to look for or be cautious of when vetting a
professional dom or dominatrix

Challenges that come from being a public-facing figure
teaching taboo topics

Recommended books for learning more about powerplay and
transcendence

Learn from Dr. Cat and Colette in their upcoming couples
retreat, Love + Leather



She even answers some questions from our
audience:


How has your play evolved over the years? Have your desires
changed?

I feel I have a part of me that is dom, but I lack
confidence. How do I explore more?



THE SKINNY ON OUR SEXY GUESTS


Colette is an educatrix. She is a professional dominatrix, where
she has been practicing the art of intimacy and power exchange
for over 18 years. She holds a PhD in Education from UC Berkeley,
where her research focuses on misconceptions and conceptual
change. Through her teaching and writing, Colette dispels
misconceptions about kink, sexwork, and alternative sexuality.
She leads an online course, MistressClass, where she teaches
aspiring Dommes a he(art)tistic approach to Female Domination.


WANT MORE?


Sex Love Psychedelics Course:
https://learn.sexloveyoga.com/SexLovePsychedelics


Couples Retreat: https://learn.sexloveyoga.com/LoveAndLeather


BOOKS MENTIONED:


Radical Ecstasy

Existential Kink

The Loving Dominant

The Topping Book, The Bottoming Book

Playing Well With Others

The Dominance Playbook