Eyewitness to Therapy Episode 5: The Need for Approval

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This psychotherapy session focused on the client's self-discovery
and growth. The main themes the client is working on include:
Developing a sense of self-worth and self-acceptance: The
client recognizes an increase in self-esteem and
self-understanding, suggesting he's making progress in his personal
development.Preparing for a couples therapy session: The client
intends to prepare for a joint session with his partner,
facilitated by another therapist. He hopes to learn and apply
healthier interaction strategies.Understanding the concept of
'giving space': The client grapples with understanding the concept
of giving his partner space. He is exploring what it means in the
context of his relationship and how it might affect his
behavior.Changing communication and interaction habits: The client
has realized that his typical way of showing love and care, through
constant attention and connection, might not be the most effective
or appreciated method. He equates his behavior to that of a puppy
dog, persistently seeking approval and affirmation.Reflecting on
the roots of behavior: The client recognizes a connection between
his current relationship behavior and his childhood interaction
patterns with his mother. This realization helps him understand why
he has developed the habit of 'pleasing' others as a form of
validation.Working towards authenticity and self-trust: The client
is trying to trust that he will receive love and approval for
simply being himself, rather than performing or acting in a certain
way to earn it. He acknowledges the need to let go of his 'puppy
dog' persona, and to present a more authentic version of himself.

Insights and realizations:
The client realized that his habitual pattern of seeking
constant attention and approval from his partner, which he likens
to the behavior of a "puppy dog," is unattractive and doesn't
actually demonstrate care or love effectively. He recognized that
this behavior stems from his childhood and his relationship with
his mother.The client acknowledged that his past actions, such as
overeating or constant seeking of validation, are detrimental to
his self-worth and self-love. He identified these behaviors as
"addictive" in nature, leading to a cycle of self-berating and
self-deprecation.A significant breakthrough came when the client
understood the importance of forgiveness, both for himself and
others. He learned that holding on to past mistakes and guilt
undermines his ability to love himself, thus leading to negative
behaviors.He realized that he does not need to constantly seek love
and approval to feel loved or lovable. This understanding is
expected to transform his behavior naturally and help him navigate
his relationship more healthily.The client realized that his
attempts to cover his past mistakes often result in repeating the
same mistakes and potentially amplifying them, hindering his
progress.Towards the end of the session, the client expressed
feeling empowered to forgive himself for past actions and not let
the lack of forgiveness justify future negative actions.

Overall, the client came to better understand the impact of his
behaviors and the root causes, realizing the importance of
self-love, forgiveness, and avoiding self-judgement. These
insights are a significant step towards self-improvement and
healthier relationships.