Unraveling the Allure: A Deep Dive into 'Irresistible' by Adam Alter

Chapter 1:Summary of Irresistible

"Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended
On It" is a book by Chris Voss, a former international hostage
negotiator for the FBI. The book provides a detailed, insider's
view into high-stakes negotiations, blending practical advice
derived from Voss’s remarkable career with the science of human
psychology.


Here’s a summary of the key concepts and techniques presented in
the book:


1. The Importance of Tactical Empathy: Voss emphasizes
understanding the emotions and mindset of the other party in a
negotiation. He argues that by demonstrating empathy towards
their feelings and viewpoints, you can create a connection that
facilitates more productive negotiations.


2. Mirroring: This simple yet effective technique involves
repeating the last few words your counterpart has just said. It
not only shows you are listening but also encourages the other
person to continue talking and possibly reveal more about their
position or desires.


3. Labeling: This involves putting a name to a person’s feelings
or emotional state, which helps validate these feelings and build
rapport. For example, saying “It sounds like you’re feeling
pressured” can help the other person feel understood and more
open to solutions.


4. Accusation Audit: Before a negotiation starts, Voss recommends
listing every negative thing the other party could say about you
and addressing them proactively. This reduces fear and
defensiveness on both sides.


5. Calibrated Questions: The book stresses the value of asking
open-ended questions that start with "how" or "what," which
encourage the counterpart to think and speak more about their
position. These are designed to let the other side feel in
control while you steer the conversation.


6. The “No” Advantage: Contrary to popular belief, Voss argues
that "no" is a powerful word in negotiations, not a failure.
Getting to "no" makes the counterpart feel safe, secure, and in
control, and it opens up the discussion for more honest and open
dialogue.


7. Bend Their Reality: Voss discusses negotiation tactics that
alter the other party’s perception of their choices outside of
the negotiation table. Techniques like anchoring their emotions
with extreme requests, or using a calibrated question when they
decline, help manage their expectations and lead the negotiation
towards a favorable outcome.


8. Creating the Illusion of Control: The author describes how to
ask calibrated questions and frame choices so that the other side
feels they are making their own decisions, even though you are
controlling the options available.


9. “That’s Right” vs. “You’re Right”: Getting the counterpart to
say “That’s right” by summarizing their perspective accurately
generates better cooperation. In contrast, “You’re right” is
often a polite shutdown to an unwanted conversation.


10. The 7-38-55 Percent Rule: Essential in understanding
communication in negotiations, Voss points out that only 7% of a
message is based on the words used, 38% comes from the tone of
voice, and 55% from the speaker’s body language and facial
expressions.


"Never Split the Difference" is rich with strategies for
negotiating more effectively, focusing on psychological tactics
and practical advice, derived from years of real-life high-stress
negotiations. The book is a guide for anyone who wants to improve
their negotiation skills, whether in business, personal
relationships, or any other aspect of life.
Chapter 2:The Theme of Irresistible

"Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business
of Keeping Us Hooked" by Adam Alter is a book published in 2017
that explores the development of addictive technologies and the
psychological and social implications of our growing dependence
on them. This work is not a novel, but rather a well-researched
nonfiction book that looks closely at how...