Fostering, Adopting, and Reparenting Ourselves: Tara Hutton

When you are fostering, and perhaps even adopting a child, it’s
important to be aware of how previous life experiences and trauma
could shape their behavior and interactions. Today on the show
we’re delighted to welcome Tara Hutton, host of the Mama’s Well
podcast, and dear friend of the show. Tara describes her family
as consisting of two rounds of parenting, the first being her
three boys, who are currently in their late teens and early
twenties, and the second being her two young adopted girls. In my
conversation with Tara, we discuss her journey with mental health
and how being a first-time parent prompted her initial
experiences with therapy when she was feeling chronically
overwhelmed. Tara shares how she felt called to foster after a
family trip to Haiti and explains how she came to adopt her two
daughters. She describes the initial fear she felt as a foster
and adoptive parent, that she wouldn’t love someone else’s kids
as much as she did her own, and how that turned out to not be
true at all. We also discuss how Tara’s children have helped her
gain awareness of her own traumas and learn how to reparent
herself, along with the tremendously positive impact that has had
on her relationship with her daughters. We end off today’s show
with Tara’s advice for parents taking in a child with trauma,
along with her unique story of hope. We hope you’ll join us for
this special conversation on reparenting, trauma, adopting, and
more.





Key Points From This Episode:


An introduction to today’s guest Tara Hutton, host of the
podcast Mama’s Well.

Learn about Tara’s family: her husband Kyle, and her five
children.

Tara shares what prompted the start of her mental health
journey.

How Tara found herself chronically overwhelmed as a
first-time parent.

Tara’s decision to pay for therapy a year in advance to hold
herself accountable and commit to the process.

How Tara came to foster and then adopt her two daughters.

What Tara learned from the adoption process and having
children who had significant trauma in her care.

Some of the trauma training that Tara went through as a
parent who was adopting.

How small traumas can have a substantial cumulative impact on
someone.

The way that trauma is present in the body and some of the
tools that have helped Tara address that.

How Tara recognized her inability to regulate her emotions
thanks to her daughters.

What Tara learned about herself from her reaction to certain
types of behavior in her children.

How compassion for herself as a child has helped Tara be more
compassionate with her daughters.

The important distinction between controlling and influencing
your child’s behavior.

The troubling lack of resources available to the most
vulnerable children in America.

How Tara’s children have helped her recognize the gaps in her
life and reparent herself.






Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:


Mama’s Well


Mama’s Well Podcast


Mama’s Well on Instagram


Mama’s Well on Facebook


The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of
Trauma


The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The
World Overwhelms Them


Yoga With Adriene


Mosaics of Mercy