36: Other Than Mother with Kamalamani

Welcome! My guest today is Kamalamani, a Buddhist author and
psychotherapist based in Bristol, England. Her first book was
published in 2012, and titled Meditating with Character.


Her latest book, Other Than Mother: Choosing
Childlessness with Life in Mind is published by
Earth Books. Kamalamani is a regular writer for several
publications. She loves travelling, gardening, researching
ancestry, and cooking for friends. Let’s hear more about her
story!


What You’ll Hear in This Episode:


Kamalamani began practicing Buddhism in her early 20’s, when
she saw how the age-old teachings of mindfulness and
loving-kindness are relevant for the 21st century.

She has chosen not to have children, but didn’t realise until
age 27, that she DID actually have a choice. She decided to see
how she felt after a year of consciously choosing 'not' to have a
child.

She used to say, “I’ll have a child by the time I’m 30.”

How she became interested in researching and talking to
people who choose childlessness voluntarily.

How making the decision to be childless gave her eye-opening
insights to some internal judgements.

How most of her family and friends have been supportive,
although she believes it’s been hard for her mother, who
loves children. This is a topic that is being more discussed
recently about how our mothers may need to grieve the loss of
grandchildren they are not going to receive.

How Kamalamani experienced writer’s block and had to do some
soul-searching about going against the grain.

There can be a “sense of lack” that is projected if you are
living as a woman without children.

There is pressure for ALL women, whether or not they have a
child.

Her newest book is divided into three parts: The Worldly
Words, A Private Decision, and Baby-Sized Projects.

Her new book considers the environmental and ecological
factors associated with having/not having children.

How Kamalamani most expresses her creativity through writing
and gardening

She advises that we can all have more awareness in our lives,
of what we do and why we do it.

For Kamalamani, the benefits to being childless include
having quiet time to write, having time to be a loving auntie,
and having time to devote to friends, family, Buddhism, and
meditation.

You can reach Kamalamani at www.kamalamani.co.uk 



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