59: Unraveling with Susannah Conway

Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I'm
speaking to one of my all time favourite bloggers and all round
lovely lady, Susannah Conway in London, England.


Just so you know there is much giggling and we discuss all sorts
from tampons and technology -  to dating apps! Grab yourself
a drink as this is a long one. ;-)

How does it feel to approach mid-life realising that motherhood
will never be yours? Would you have regrets? My guest today
shares how her life’s path has taken her to places she never
imagined, proving there is so much that we cannot control. The
key is to enjoy the experience where you can, find peace with it,
and use your journey to inspire others. 


Susannah Conway is a photographer, writer, and teacher who has
been sharing her heart online for over a decade. She helps people
know, trust, and express themselves by sharing what has healed
her own heart. Her work is steeped in self-compassion, kindness,
and practicality, and her courses have been enjoyed by thousands
of people from over 50 countries around the world.


Her first book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart, hit
bookshelves in 2012. Her most recent book,  Londontown: A
Photographic Tour of the City’s Delights, was published in 2016.
I can personally highly recommend her courses, as I’ve taken a
few of them. The first one was Blogging from the Heart that
I enjoyed several years ago. She shared behind-the-scenes
insights as to how she puts together her blog, ideas for blog
topics and writing, and I was so inspired.


You must also grab her amazing free PDF that she shares at the
end of every year (something I’ve shared with many others) called
Unraveling the Year Ahead, in which she teaches you to reflect on
the past year and look to what’s ahead. It's an essential
end of year ritual so definitely check it out at
www.susannahconway.com


What you’ll hear in this episode:


It was a combination of circumstances which have led to
Susannah being childless. At 45 now, she’s had 3 serious
relationships, one of which lasted 10 years and a year of that
was spent trying to conceive.

A few years ago, Susannah had fibroids removed from her
uterus and the surrounding area. 

Even when women are unsure or ambivalent about having
children, society conditions us to feel a certain way and to
follow a prescribed timeline or 'the script'.

The “joy” of being a woman, growing up with little to no sex
education. We discuss the joys of tampons and sanitary towels ;-)

Why it’s important to Susannah to understand and honour her
cycle.

How being a “mother” can take many forms other than giving
birth to a baby.

When you feel like “time is running out” and you wonder if a
child is even a possibility.

Becoming an auntie to her nephew--how it changed everything

The disaster of pursuing a relationship solely for the
purpose of having a baby, and how a partner usually feels in that
position when they can feel that desperation.

Being a mother for Susannah would have to be her biological
child with shared DNA--there was no other option that felt right.

“If it had been my soul path to be a mother, then it would
have happened by now.”

Why having her two nephews and sharing their lives is a
reason she’s OK with not being a mother: “There are two little
beings that have me forever.”

Why you shouldn’t ask questions or make assumptions about the
marriage or motherhood status of others--don’t show judgment and
a lack of sensitivity.

Why we are hyperconnected to technology, even to the point of
ignoring the people around us, but we are constantly disconnected
from each other.

The difficulties of using dating apps when you’re in your
30’s and 40’s and how the subject of having children is
approached when trying to meet someone. Always an interesting
topic!

Why Susannah doesn’t really want to have a relationship with
someone who already has kids, but what she really demands is
upfront honesty and transparency about the topic.

How Susannah fills her life with passions and hobbies and
does her journaling and photography all the time as she is
“'livin’ the dream!”

The “acorn” of dreaming of furnishing her hew home the way
she wants, in a way that brings her peace, and how this can help
to alleviate stress and anxiety of life.

When she hits 50--and later, 60--she will reflect upon the
fact that she hasn’t had children or grandchildren.

“I know there will be a little piece of me that acknowledges
what I didn’t have.”

When your parents have to deal with the fact that they will
not have grandchildren.

The topic brings up a lot of reflection on our lives and our
choices.

The crazy ingrained standard in society of the glorification
of motherhood, reflected particularly in celebrity lives.

The extremes of the representations of womanhood presented in
tabloids and online media: either you flaunt your body or you’re
a mother.

The growing demographic: in the last 10 years, the number of
women over 40 without children has doubled, and that will only
increase in the future.

Why some people are intent on always adding more
children--”Why would you have more than you can carry?”

Remembering the obsession of trying for a baby for a whole
year, after having an abortion with the same partner 10 years
prior at age 21---no regrets!

Why the decision to have a baby should be a conscious one.

The myriad of thoughts and feelings - and coming to a place
of awareness and acceptance, understanding the sadness in life is
constantly changing and evolving.

Looking forward to devoting time and care to her next loving
relationship, and creating this very special connection together.

Apparently The Guardian Soulmates is where it's all at for
online dating in the UK ;-)



 Find out more about Susannah's wonderful work at:


www.susannahconway.com


 


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I also would love to hear in the comments below what
you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.