58 Emotional Equilibrium and Mental Imperturbability

Alan Wallace begins this afternoon's session with the question,
"When a desire arises, how does one know whether it is desire
(wholesome) or craving (unwholesome)?" He explores practical
answers to this question, then proceeds to a guided meditation on
the immeasurable of uppekha, or equanimity, focusing on a
Theravaden approach, cultivating an evenness of mental
imperturbability, a mind unaffected by mental afflictions.


The guided meditation begins at 14:37 in the recording.


Afterwards, Alan gives an interesting and engaging answer to this
question from the group:


1. Any time I've heard the question, "How or why did
ignorance-marigpa begin?" the answer given is that, "It never
began; time is beginningless, and the dharmakaya and ignorance
have just always existed, neither came first." And then, from the
teacher, "And why do you want a beginning or first moment
anyway?!"


I can accept the notion of beginningless time - ie: present
moment arising from the previous ad infinitum, and that from the
perspective of Rigpa, its not really happening anyway - at least,
that it IS a dream, but I still have difficulty with how marigpa
ever happened at all, and if self-grasping is "prior" to the
objectification of appearances, how did "karma's stirring" give
rise to Substrate Consciousness?


Do you have any insight, or is there insight from psychology
perhaps as to why we "want" a beginning?


PS: Do these questions really matter, or should I just sit down,
shut up, and watch my breath?