Bears In Games - Manly Sports And The Bears The Do Them

Firstly, Johnny checks out the Bears of Beijing 2008! Or should it
be BEARjing? Huh? In this episode of BearsInGames, Johnny is
inspired by the hot burliness of Olympic athletes Manolo Martinez
and Matthias Steiner into renting and playing a few events in
Sega's Olympic tie-in Beijing '08. Did it deserve the critical
drubbing it received? Can you play as your favorite bearish men? In
short, yes, it did, and no, you can't. All you need to see about
this game is contained in the video. Plus: a bulge-tastic montage.
Next up: Legends of Wrestlemania for the 360. Ah, wrestling. Johnny
has already covered Capcom's fantastic take on the subject, so
let's look at how the WWE has brought together some of the best
wrestlers of all time into one game. With Bam Bam Bigelow, Jim "The
Anvil" Neidhart, Arn Anderson, King Kong Bundy, Andre the Giant,
The Iron Shiek, Nikolai Volkoff, The Rock, and Stone Cold Steve
Austin, you're not wanting for hot burly bear wrestlers. Though
hopefully you like them well-muscled; most are disturbingly shiny
and on steroids. (I mean, more steroids then usual.) Also: Johnny
Barnstorm and Wil "Dubs" take on men online in oddly polite
encounters! Lastly, UFC Undisputed: is it a fighting game or
hardcore bear porn? Seriously, Johnny can't tell. There are just
some points during the training where... well... let's just say
that it sure looks like the fighters are really, really good
friends. And having sex. UFC tries hard to be awful; the soundtrack
is about ten decibels louder than any other game out there, and
there's about an hour of recorded dialogue of the guy who runs UFC
ranting about how it's the ultimate match of the ultimate fighters
and they're modern day gladiators, and... ugh. But the game itself?
Damn good. Nice to watch. Though the fighters themselves are
modeled sans crotches. Weird.