Ep 103 Why we Never Split the Difference

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss is a real-life guide to
negotiation.  He was an FBI Hostage negotiator and describes
real life situations he was in.  In this episode, we discuss
why he choose the title, “Never Split the Difference”.  Chris
says that negotiation is hard, and we often compromise “because it
is easy, and it saves face.”  The fact is that for each party
to get what they want; you must work towards a creative
solution.  “Creative solutions are almost always preceded by
some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict,” Voss
says.  The hard stuff is where the deals are.  In all
aspects of life, there are negotiations…with your spouse, your
kids, big purchases, jobs, contracts, etc.  Without realizing
it, we even negotiate with ourselves.  Every yes we give is a
no to something else.  Yes, son, you can play baseball=mom
doesn’t get to see friends, clean house, or cook a meal at home for
about 3-4 months.  We weigh options all day every day. 
As I type this, my yes to typing show notes is a no to vacation
planning (since I’m at work, that’s not a bad thing, but still a
negotiation).  The point is that when saying yes or no to
these things, if it’s something you don’t really want to give up,
come up with a creative solution. Baseball is hard, the kids are
scheduled 4 nights of practice and 2, sometimes 3, games a
week.  On top of that, the other kids have places to be. 
So, I come up with maybe not creative solutions, but ones that
benefit the family.  We have rules about what time the game
must be to allow eating out vs cooking at home.  The oldest
kid babysits the youngest kid while we go to the game.  This
gives the two at home quality time together and the oldest a little
quiet time once the youngest goes to bed while allowing Kyle and I
to give our full attention to our middle kid who needs it. 
So, yea, baseball is hard, but this creative solution benefits
everyone in the family. “You’ve got embrace the hard stuff,” Voss
says, and we agree.  We embrace the hard stuff every day.
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