Death, Sex & Money: I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also
knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her
personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger
making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She
bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom
friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started
to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to
lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I
completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some
of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why
it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways
caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and
engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and
what really valuing care in society would look like.  Elissa’s
book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for
Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s
Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.”   Are you a paid
caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode.
Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild
stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want
your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and
stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com.  Death, Sex & Money is
now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please
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And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here.
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