Group Therapy (25) Self Esteem Deliverance

What Is Forgiveness? Enright defines forgiveness as “a process,
freely chosen by you, in which you willingly reduce resentment
through some hard work and offer goodness of some kind toward the
one who hurt you” (2012, 49). Let’s look at some of the key
elements of this definition: Process. Forgiving serious offenses
usually does not come quickly, easily, or all at once. Choice. No
one can force us to forgive. We forgive when we are ready. The
choice to forgive does not depend on whether the offender
apologizes, deserves to be forgiven, or changes. The choice
simply relates to how we decide to respond to the past.
Resentment. This is feeling the original anger again. When we
forgive, we choose to release bitterness and the intent to get
even so that we can be freed of the heavy burden that keeps us
chained to the past and sours our present life. Offering goodness
to the offender. Releasing ill will, judgments, and vengeance
toward the offender is a healing place to start. Offering
compassion to the offender is even more healing. Perhaps we start
by avoiding or tolerating the offender, refusing to speak ill of
him, or doing him no harm. Over time and after needed healing, we
might cultivate kind thoughts toward the offender. We remember
that everyone is imperfect and suffers, and that the offender’s
hurtful actions will inevitably diminish his happiness. The
response we choose is to love and respect the offender, despite
her behaviors—even though we dislike those behaviors. Perhaps a
smile replaces anger or indifference. Perhaps we eventually wish
the person well or actively seek to serve the offender.