Press B 149: March Radness - Best Video Game Villains

It's time for Press B's March Radness! A month long celebration
of salt and tears as each week in March we do bracket tournment
style episodes.


On this week's episode of Press B, join our hosts as they dive
into the world of video game villains and battle it out to crown
the ultimate bad guy! We've assembled (scientifically and
randomized) brackets of 12 of the most iconic and memorable video
game villains, from Bowser to Sephiroth to GLaDOS. Listen in as
they debate and discuss each villain's strengths, weaknesses, and
overall impact on their respective game's story and gameplay. Who
will come out on top and be crowned the ultimate video game
villain? Tune in to find out!


Press B To Cancel now on Youtube! For updates and more episodes
please visit our website www.pressbtocancel.com, or find us on
Twitter @pressbtocancel and Instagram @pressbtocancel.


Special thanks to The Last Ancient on SoundCloud for our podcast
theme.


Transcript: Chard (A): If he dies, he dies. Greatest video game
vitillins today on.


Wulff (B): Um.


Chard (A): Welcome, everybody, back to another actual, live bless
you episode of Presbyter cancel tonight. I am the blessed host of
this evening's episode. But I'm not alone. As Jake say. No, I'm
not alone. I'm with four of the greatest villains I know running
amongst us here. Jake, how are you, sir?


Jake (C): I'm doing good. Thanks for being having me back.


Chard (A): Thanks for being having back. Thanks for being having
back, too. You hit me. I'm just werewolf.


Jake (C): I'm distracted setting shit up and oh, crap.


Chard (A): How are you set up if we're running?


Jake (C): I always set stuff up.


Sins (D): The intro.


Chard (A): No, even every mad scientist has an evil contraption
werewolf. How are you, sir? No.


Wulff (B): Is the audio long?


Sins (D): There we go.


Chard (A): There it is.


Wulff (B): Okay, so I unmuted after the sneeze. Cool.


Chard (A): It works.


Wulff (B): Just muted after the sneeze. Great.


Chard (A): Your reverse machines work great.


Wulff (B): I apologize for that sneeze.


Sins (D): Hey, I caught a light sneeze.


Chard (A): Of the evening. I guess I also made my own pretty hate
machine. Citistar, how are you?


Sins (D): I am Valaneous tonight.


Chard (A): There's a pill for that GP. How are you? No whimsical,
friend.


GP (E): Speaking of Charlie, speaking of whatever those erection
pills were that you sent me, they are nuts if we can keep this
episode under 2 hours, because at the end of about an hour and a
half from now, I will need to go to the Er. Two and a half hours
ago, my.


Chard (A): Wife accidentally washed those pills, and now I cannot
get my pants to fold. Guys, just as bad as that joke are these
people that are on our list today. You like that, Segue?


Jake (C): That's pretty damn smooth.


GP (E): We go hard.


Chard (A): We do in the paint, as a matter of fact. Sports
reference. Sports ball.


Sins (D): Sports ball.


Chard (A): Guys, it is march. Radness. We continue fourth on our
continuation of brackets bracketeering the brack on tears. Isn't
that a Jack White band? No, we're talking music, and we're
definitely talking music and sports today. And unfortunately,
these guys have come along. We're going to break these guys down.
We have several selected villains that we are going to do in our
own scientifically, whimsical, Canadian lies way of discussing
who tyrannically. Sorry, tyrannically is what I meant to say.


Jake (C): I have whimsical back. I'd rather be whimsical. But,
you know, out of our no.


Chard (A): There'S no Whimsical out of our list of these people.
Now, we know there's other villains out there. We dug very deep
on the surface of these to try and figure out which one of these
villains would be good. Some you'll know, some we won't know.
It'll happen, trust me. And some you will probably rant rave that
these were poor choices, but guess what? We're the host, so we
pick what we want, because that's how things work around here.


Sins (D): If it's not on our list, call out in the comments or
come yell at us in discord there you go.


Chard (A): Yeah, that 100% of us have full time jobs. It's very
difficult to find a list when you're having people yelling at you
all day. Well, okay. Sorry. 90% of us. Wow.


Sins (D): Jeff throwing down early.


Chard (A): Time job.


Wulff (B): You take care of it.


Chard (A): That's not easy. That beautiful background behind you.
That's beautiful. That's hard work.


Wulff (B): I don't get to see it as.


Sins (D): Much as I used to in Chat. Jeff's throwing down early.


GP (E): Let's ease up on the spoilers.


Chard (A): What do you think?


Jake (C): Kafka may not even be there.


Sins (D): Kefa didn't make our list.


Jake (C): Yeah, he's a small time you guys.


Chard (A): Are using the Kafka didn't make our list. Chard Monk
didn't make the stream.


Wulff (B): All right.


Chard (A): It's kind of a one, and it's like, if there's one
thing that comes with me everywhere, that's not my wife, it's
Kefca. Let's just be honest, all right? I do. I'm trying to get a
Kefca tattoo, as a matter of fact. That's not a joke. That's
true. Let's go ahead and fire things off. We're going to start
with our first two villain matchup back to back here. Our first
selection is Joker Mark Hamill.


Sins (D): Mark, joker.


GP (E): Need to specify that.


Chard (A): And Bowser from Mario from the Mario Brothers series.


Jake (C): The Marios. Yeah.


Sins (D): We're specifically talking video game versions of these
villains. So Joker, Mark Hamill, I know that there's
similarities, but it is the video game arkham series and not the
cartoon series, where he's the Joker.


Jake (C): Right. He's great in both, but specifically the video
game in this case. Yes.


GP (E): Also, when we're talking about let's read.


Chard (A): Everything'S about video games here. Right.


GP (E): But also, is the metric or the rubric that we are saying
for best villain, meaning, like, most iconic, most likable, most
successful. What's the metric here?


Jake (C): I think we have to be well rounded with this. Right. We
have to look at their impact in the game, their successes, their
character. I think it's a well rounded we should look at all
angles when we're talking about these villains.


GP (E): Yeah, agreed.


Wulff (B): Yeah.


Chard (A): We got to think about some longevity issues that are
in here too, because Bowser has been an iconic villain for a long
time, while the Joker has been an iconic villain, but not in
video game tropes for as long as Bowser.


Jake (C): Okay.


Sins (D): And if we do look at backstory, then Joker actually
comes all the way in from whatever 1930s or 40s or whatever it
was, right? If we're talking backstory.


Chard (A): Right. Not joaquin. Phoenix's. Joker, by the way.


Sins (D): No.


Chard (A): Still a great movie.


Jake (C): No.


GP (E): I could do an entire podcast episode on why that movie
upset me.


Chard (A): All right, who wants to go round robin on this first?
I'll go. I'll tell you what, I'm going to just announce this
right now. I know Sinister said he would go last, but I'll tell
you what, as the host, I will be the tiebreaker of going last. I
will make that decision.


Sins (D): This is how Kefco wins call me a tyrant. This is how
Kefko wins.


Chard (A): I'm trying to ease everybody's mind on here. Although
I do like it when GP says, all right, Char, well, you and I, our
opinions don't matter. So what do you pick?


GP (E): I'm going to go and call it Chard. You and I, our
opinions don't matter.


Chard (A): So who wants to go first in this round?


Jake (C): I'll go for this one. Yeah. The randomized brackets are
really cruel here because this is a tough matchup. I mean, Bowser
is one of the longest standing video game villains. It was
randomized. We discussed this off this, off the stream. It's
randomized, scientifically, accurately, through the AI. Anyway,
bowser has been a longtime villain, but Mark Hamill, forget the
animated series, forget everything else in his career. Just the
arkham joker, like Arkham city and Arkham Asylum. He is so good.
His voice acting is just iconic as this villain. He's chilling.
He's just scary. He's such a great villain and such a great
performance in the Arkan games. I mean, Bowser is great and all,
and he's a big part of the Mario franchise. But I mean, come on.
Joker, I think, is the villain. I think he's like, such an iconic
villain. I like Bowser, but I think especially the more recent
Mario games where they had the opportunity for things like me
voice acting or a story, they don't really do that right. Like,
even in Mario Odyssey, the story was Bowser's kidnapping Peach to
get married. It makes no sense, and it's barely even a damn plot.
So even though he's like, iconic looking, he's not really
impactful in the storylines to Mario. Not that there is one to
begin with. I mean, he's memorable, I guess, because of
nostalgia. But I think Mark Campbell's performance as the joker
in Arkham is so damn good.


Sins (D): All right, I want to go next. That's why I was holding
up my finger there.


Chard (A): Because I was getting my bingo card out?


Sins (D): No, because I was going to make the argument, you
already did this, but I guess I'm going to probably drive it home
a little bit. Bowser, while being a long term video game villain,
he hasn't actively tried to murder at mass levels. His whole goal
is to marry Peach and rule the mushroom kingdom. Right? And then
here's the Joker who has literally tried to kill everyone through
infection or some other whatever, and he does it with almost a
lack of reasoning or care. We've done this trope before, but some
people just want to watch, so well. Ben right.


GP (E): Specifically, your Mark Hamill impression is horrible.


Sins (D): It is.


Chard (A): I thought that was Bowser.


GP (E): I should have said that.


Jake (C): Jack black.


Sins (D): But one thing I want to point out, and this happened, I
think this was in Arkham Asylum. The first of kind of the video
games that we're talking about at the end, he actually has
destroyed the cure and he is infected and he knows that Batman is
going to save him. And so he goes into this just balls to the
wall. Because he knows that no matter how bad of a villain he is,
his hero is going to save him because he knows Batman is that
good. And so he is just that bad that he is like I will destroy
my chances of even surviving this because I know that the hero is
going to save me. So I also vote joker.


GP (E): Interesting. I hear what you're saying, Sinistar, and
also I hear what you're saying, daddy, but I think that it's
tough. I think the more iconic villain here in terms of video
games is going to have to be Bowser. Which villain do I find more
ultimately captivating? Interesting? Would I rather party with
all those things going to go to the Joker? But if we're just
talking across the spectrum of pop culture, I don't know, it's
tough. If the Joker did not exist in movies, TV shows, or
anything other than the Arkham series, I don't think he would be
as prolific as Bowser, who is primarily in the video games. Yes,
he's been in some movies, dennis Hopper, but that's not what he's
known for.


Sins (D): We don't talk about Super Mario Brothers.


Jake (C): Yeah.


Chard (A): John Lang Guizamo was excellent as an Italian plumber.


GP (E): Okay, first off, John Lang Guizamo is great in about
anything. I'll watch him read the dictionary. Johnny Legs, if
you're watching, I love you. Hope I can call you Johnny Legs. The
other part of that, though no, again, I think if the Joker didn't
exist outside of video games, he would be a cool villain, but I
don't know that he would be as prolific as Bowser. So I think I
got to vote Bowser, even though, in fact, right now, I'm wearing
my Batman pajama pants. You guys know I'm a big Batman fan. I got
to give it to Bowser. I'll lock it up.


Wulff (B): All right.


Chard (A): That was an incredible twist of events I did not
expect.


Wulff (B): Let's look at the lengths that Bowser will go to
accomplish his goals.


Chard (A): He is willing oh, you're going to read the book.


Wulff (B): No, he's going to read the he.


GP (E): Is the biggest employer of the Mushroom Kingdom, I wager
that.


Wulff (B): But he's willing to go to the moon to accomplish his
goals. He is willing to. What was the other one? He'll work with
Mario if he absolutely has to.


GP (E): Mario RPG. I like that.


Wulff (B): Which he's done. He can set aside his personal
differences to achieve his goals. And when a villain really wants
to accomplish what they want to accomplish, they have to learn to
be able to move forward with the circumstances they're given. And
Bowser always does that. Bowser also lied to his child about who
his mom was. Who the fuck does that? That's dark.


Jake (C): That's how bad a villain he is. He lies to his
children. He's a bad daddy. That's what.


Chard (A): His nephews we have the daddy of daddy.


Sins (D): I want you to remember somebody who knows something. I
want you to remember this argument for later. Because me? Yeah,
because there is a villain that we are going to bring up daughter
issues.


GP (E): No, I don't want to know. I have done my way to ignore
the list that you all do some research.


Chard (A): I know what you're going to talk about.


Jake (C): Okay, real quick. Bowser versus Mario. Can't we all
agree that Mario is killed more than Bowser? So isn't Mario a
better villain than Bowser anyway? So that automatically
disqualifies.


GP (E): That goes back to what I was saying though. I mean,
Bowser is the largest employer of the Mushroom Kingdom. You have
the Princess Kingdom who rules over all these individuals. And
then you have the Plumber who comes in and kills them all trying.


Jake (C): He's a bad employer. He's a bad boss, but doesn't make
him a bad guy.


GP (E): Look, yes, we all know horrible employers, but in the end
of the day, is he not putting food on tables? I don't know.


Chard (A): It sounds like the premise for horrible boss is three.


Wulff (B): Yeah. How many things does Bowser kill? We never see
him kill anything unless he kills Mario. Right. Have you watched
Mario brother throwing yoshis into lava pits and off of cliffs?


Sins (D): Yeah, never mind. Never mind punching yoshi in the back
of the head to make him eat things.


Chard (A): Yeah, right.


Wulff (B): Friends. He's throwing off of cliffs and into lava
pits.


GP (E): For what it's worth, count for a lot. It's mutually.


Wulff (B): Mario is the villain.


Jake (C): I think so. Browser's biggest crime is just not having
his fortresses up to safety.


GP (E): That's not true. There's the kidnapping and presumed
attempted rape, which you can't sweep that under the rug.


Chard (A): That's true.


Sins (D): Trigger warning.


GP (E): Sorry folks, nobody's a piece of shit. But I think if the
issue is iconic have we voted? Did everybody go?


Wulff (B): I said bowser. To me. Bowser. No line is too much to
cross for him.


Jake (C): Okay.


GP (E): Yeah.


Jake (C): So it's two to two, I guess, right?


Chard (A): Yeah, the tiebreaker is wow.


Jake (C): There you go. Your opinion does matter.


Chard (A): It does matter. It never matters that far. Okay, well,
on that note, listen. You guys say that Bowser hasn't killed a
whole lot of people. I've watched Cindy Star play Mario Brothers.
That's not true. He's killed a lot of people.


GP (E): You're thinking of gravity. You're thinking of gravity
and spatial awareness.


Chard (A): He did design spatial awareness. That's true. The big
villain here is actually gravity and spatial awareness. That's
true.


Sins (D): In a trick twist, the first bracket goes to gravity and
spatial awareness.


Chard (A): Aka Bowser. Listen, bowser turned the Mushroom Kingdom
people into bricks and Mario did kill them. That's where I
thought you were going with that wolf. I got to lean on this
whole thing with me and the Joker. The Joker and Mark Hamill.
Fantastic. Let's think of it this way. I'm going to do how my
discussion on the phone went today. Listen. Mark Hamill.
Incredible actor. Wonderful job. Top tier, couldn't have done any
better. Top notch. However, not going to cut it in this bracket.
I got to go with Bowser on this one. And purely because, like GP
said, if it wasn't for the Joker being iconic and other things
and in comic books before he was put into video games, he's
everywhere. It's not really a video game character. He's
everywhere. Bowser is a video game character. He was created for
gaming and gaming likeness and then has spawned into Dennis
Hopper playing King Cooper and the whole nine yards. I'm just
saying that if we're going to the roots of video game villains,
got to go with Bowser. And it may be the nostalgia again talking.
Don't know, don't care. I'll go with bowser. So I've noticed that
the bowser fight.


GP (E): In Super Mario World. Sorry for the Super Nintendo. After
you jump on him and he's in his little thing, he pops out and
she's waving. She's like hell. Not to show my sensibilities here,
but that was terrifying to me as a kid. She's obviously not
wanting to be there. Don't do that.


Sins (D): Yeah.


Chard (A): Horrible, right?


Sins (D): And Bowser, don't stand on her when you're flying your
little weird propeller chair.


GP (E): That's a TARDIS. There's more room down there than what
you think.


Jake (C): Yeah, figure it on the inside than isn't.


Sins (D): I don't want to hear about Bowsers down there. It's
fine.


Chard (A): I was going to say it's an undetectable extension
charm.


GP (E): I love that. All right. Bowser.


Jake (C): Bowser.


Chard (A): Okay, so round two. So round one goes to Bowser of the
Mario franchise. That's fantastic. I'm excited about this one.
I'm really excited about this next matchup. We had discussed this
amongst our MPs together as a team and we were kind of very him
and ha. But Jake actually had a very solid point about this.
Could have some really good discussion going into it. So without
further ado, I had a good point.


Sins (D): No, it's getting delayed.


Chard (A): As I am told quite often when I say see, I say things
that are smart, I usually get retorted with, well, a broken clock
is right twice a day, too. So I'm going to hit you with that one.
1%. One in a row, Jake. One in a row.


Sins (D): Except for you're running in military time. And it's
once a day, sir.


GP (E): My anxiety can't handle this. What's the bracket? Is it
like two minutes?


Jake (C): Come on.


Chard (A): Don't a, I'm going to pronounce this the way I feel it
needs to pronounce. Do not at me. This is Magis from Chrono
trigger fame.


Wulff (B): What?


Chard (A): And Handsome Jack versus Mages and Handsome Jack.


Sins (D): All right. Can I go first?


Jake (C): Only you called megas.


GP (E): Maybe.


Chard (A): Not called magic. Called magic. Thank you.


Sins (D): Look, we're going to have a GIF versus GIF argument
here. It's fine. Like my juffed, I'm going to start with Magis.
So my experience with Magus Magus, Magus, magus is so far I have
only had him as the villain, and I ran him off. I haven't seen
some sort of redemption story, but I've heard tell of redemption
story.


Chard (A): Should we have Citizen mute his headphones for this
discussion after he's done making.


Sins (D): No, well, it's fine.


Jake (C): He's already past the point of the spoilers for that
anyway, right? Like you did the NC Palace. I saw you stream it.


Chard (A): Yeah, no, he did not go to the end of the he's in the
area, like right before one of the boss fights.


Sins (D): It's fine. It's okay. That game is 30 years old.
However years old it is.


Jake (C): Yeah, there is a redemption in that. He's not the big
bad, right? In crone trigger. It's Lavos. That's the big bad.


Sins (D): And that's kind of where I'm going, is even knowing
that he's a redemption story. He did start the whole Lavos mess,
right? Well, didn't he kind of kick it off? I mean, it's fine
anyway, but with the redemption story, he feels a little soft. He
feels a little soft as far as a villain goes. Now, Handsome Jack
handsome Jack literally places a floating space station in orbit
that can nuke basically whatever he wants. And when his daughter,
who has the Siren abilities, accidentally kills her mother
through a fight with another person, he decides that he's going
to imprison her to power his station. So if you want to talk a
daughter arc, if you want to talk a father daughter arc, here's a
guy that's like, well, sure, you accidentally killed your mother,
but you know what? You're now my power source and enslaves her
and then proceeds to basically destroy any vault hunter that
decides to show up on Pandora. He purposefully murders, unless
they have the chance to open the vault for him specifically.


GP (E): But he was honest about who the mother was, and I think
that counts. I agree. Handsome Jack for the win on this one.


Sins (D): Yeah, I'm going Handsome Jack over. Magus. Magus.
Magus.


GP (E): Have you guys heard of Dragon Ball Z?


Chard (A): Yeah.


GP (E): Who is the greatest villain from Dragon Ball Z? Here's a
hint. Not Vegeta.


Chard (A): That's true.


GP (E): Okay, well, I'll close it there, but no law applies. And
between these two I got to go. Handsome Jack. Though I do very
much enjoy Maggis.


Sins (D): That's two for Handsome Jack, then.


GP (E): His Majesty. No, too much. Sorry.


Chard (A): Booker T. Booker. Majesty. Booker.


Sins (D): Yeah.


Chard (A): Wrestler do you want to go or.


Wulff (B): You want I have a quick question. Is Handsome Jack's
daughter, serif or Seraphim, whatever her name was. Whoever.


Sins (D): No, he enslaves her later when his I think his daughter
ends up dying and he ends up putting the other Siren in her
place.


Wulff (B): I didn't finish. I only got like maybe halfway through
or something.


Sins (D): Yeah. Angel. Thank you.


Wulff (B): Angel. Yeah. Thank you, jeff but McGuff, he was an
asshole.


Chard (A): I love it.


Wulff (B): But his intentions were in the right place. He was
trying to do something for the greater good. He wasn't trying to
be a villain. And his end goal was to save the world, not destroy
it. Right? That's not much of a villain. He's Chronos nemesis for
a time, but he's not the villain of the game. Handsome Jack is a
villain. I got to say that's coming from I knew about his
redemption chance the first time I played Chrono trigger, and I
still said, Fuck that, Maggus. You're going down.


GP (E): He's not your gus. He's Mcguss.


Wulff (B): Yeah, he's Mcguss.


Jake (C): As a youth, he was Janus. As an adult. He's megas
janus.


Wulff (B): Janice.


GP (E): Which would you rather be called? Anus.


Chard (A): Look, we don't get to pick her.


Jake (C): Names that her parents bestowed on us. And he was named
J Anus. And that's just the way it is, my kids.


Wulff (B): Question. How do you pronounce his sister's name?


Chard (A): Shala.


Wulff (B): I'm sorry, I derailed the conversation there.


Sins (D): Quick aside, quick aside. I do have to give Handsome
Jack. He did create. Or he bought, actually. But without Handsome
Jack, we wouldn't have butt stallion but.


Chard (A): The iconic.


Wulff (B): But my vote is Handsome Jack on this one.


GP (E): Yeah.


Jake (C): Okay.


Chard (A): Well, Jake, looks like you're, in my opinion, don't
matter. So what do you got, bud?


Jake (C): I tell you. Here's the thing. Okay, fine. So you want
to argue that Handsome Jack is maybe the more sinister, the more
evil villain. That's fine. Villain does not necessarily always
mean evil. Sometimes it could just be a jerk and that could be a
villain, right?


GP (E): Are you talking about Kirby?


Jake (C): No. Kirby has many villains. Can you do those?
Misunderstood.


Chard (A): Anyway, is this a veiled attack?


Jake (C): No. So maggus. Magus magus magus magus maggas. His
aura, okay? His look, his garb, the cape, the rubber gloves, the
dark slick back hair, the paley pasty white skin, the red eyes.
The theme music in the boss battle with Megas is fucking iconic
and is one of my favorite boss encounters. And you don't do boss
encounters against friends. He's the bad guy. Is he the world's
most evil villain? No, but he's a pretty awesome bad guy.


GP (E): Conversation is, though.


Jake (C): Handsome Jack is just evil.


Chard (A): Sure, but he's just rich.


Jake (C): He doesn't look cool. He's got a cool horse, he spends
his money.


Sins (D): He's handsome. Is he?


GP (E): We will have other episodes where we discuss handsome
doable dude in video games. Is that is not this one.


Chard (A): Wow.


Jake (C): Ride his crystal horse all he wants. He's not the best
bad guy in this match.


Sins (D): He purposefully diamond horse. It's a horse made of
diamonds. Literally of diamonds. But he is so handsome that he
put his face on a whole bunch of doppelgangers on purpose.


Jake (C): Look, is Batman the best hero because he's rich? No.


Chard (A): He's arguably not a very good hero to begin with, but
let's not get into that debate.


Sins (D): Jeff. Jeff is correct.


Wulff (B): In Chat, this isn't about heroes. This is about
village.


Sins (D): Jeff is correct. In Chat, Handsome Jack succeeded.


GP (E): Now, is it not Handsome Jack.


Jake (C): It's Handsome handsome also, am I not wrong?


Chard (A): Who cursed?


Jake (C): Wasn't it not Magus who cursed, Frog? It was maggus,
right?


GP (E): Glenn?


Chard (A): Magis.


GP (E): Not to dachshund, but Glenn, yes.


Jake (C): Who cursed? Glenn.


Chard (A): Glenn of 600 Ad. Sorry, dude, my bad.


GP (E): Wow. Everybody's going to go hunting for Glenn now.


Sins (D): It was Maegus.


Wulff (B): To be fair, Cyrus had no business dragging Glenn
around with him to fight McGuff.


Chard (A): They were buggy. I go everywhere. Dennis Star, he
doesn't drag me around. I just fucking chill up.


Wulff (B): How many squires? How many squires? Just Glenn. He's
the only one taken advantage of by heroes in that game.


Chard (A): Cyrus is so good, he doesn't need multiple squires. He
only needs g. Lynn all right, so we're going to go with Mages on
that one, Jake? Is that what you're saying?


Jake (C): Yeah. I'm saying magus mages cool.


GP (E): Please agree. How to pronounce jump. J Is it Forest Jump
are we having.


Chard (A): I don't know a lot about Borderlands, I know a lot
about Chrono Trigger, and I'm going to go ahead and chime in on
this one. Magus is not a villain. He is a man of circumstance and
time. Literally of time. He's a man that is trying to get
revenge. Sinister plug ears earmuffs sinister ear muffs. Thank
you. He's a man that's trying to get revenge on what his mother
did to him and his family and how and his sister and all the shit
that went down with there. The man was just trying to get back at
him and unfortunately, people were getting in his way to get it
done. Yes, it is the Vegeta complex, we will call it that. It is
vegeta. It's literally vegeta.


Wulff (B): Literally trying to what his family broke.


Chard (A): With the risk of how this sounds, it's Vegas. It's
what it is. It's what it's going to be. We're going with it. I
don't care. Don't die on me, Jake.


Jake (C): Really?


Chard (A): Vegas? Yes. Handsome Jack, you could put your there
you go. Handsome Jack is so fucking twisted that in his brain, he
thinks he's the hero.


GP (E): Well, that's the hallmark of a good villain.


Chard (A): Yeah, he thinks he's doing the right thing, but it's
so fucking twisted and fucked up, he doesn't care. He still
thinks he's right. He still thinks he's getting roll up. I did
research today. I've barely played any Borderlands, so I have
plenty of people here to tell me if I'm wrong or not.


GP (E): You knew he was from Borderlands.


Chard (A): Like we are killing off all the Volt hunters because
he thinks he's doing it right and he's doing world dominance.
Thinks he's the hero. He thinks he's saving his daughter by
turning her into the power source for his doomsday device. So as
much as I love Mages, or Ages, or Mcgaggas, or Janus Forest
Guillumpus, I'm going with Handsome Jack.


Sins (D): It's Forrest.


Chard (A): I did not stutter. So, I think Handsome Jack is going
to be the true villain out of these two. I think that Mages is a
really good story and could be a really like on its own debate on
on his experience. His depiction is direction, but for actual
villainry, I got to go with Handsome Jack on that one.


Jake (C): Look, Handsome Jack doesn't have a theme song. Just
saying. He does not have a clip.


Chard (A): Mages theme song is easily I had it recreated for my
stream. That's how good it is.


Sins (D): I love that Handsome Jack gets not one, but two games,
right? Two entire games of him as the villain.


Chard (A): If Chronocross wasn't garbage, then maybe Mages could
have had two games too. But unfortunately they decided to shit
all over that one. But listen, in terms of cool factor, if we're
talking cool factor and badass fights and great lead ins and
music and shit, majors wins nine times out of ten and twice on
Sundays. He's incredible. But in the villainry department,
without spoiling it for Sinistar, heads of Jack wins. You're
good.


GP (E): What constitutes as a theme song for a villain? The
reason I ask there is a song my dad used to hum when I was a kid
and he would not important.


Chard (A): Let's move on. Was it an original piece?


Jake (C): Wow.


GP (E): I don't know.


Chard (A): Made it up as he went. That it's his this was fucking
dark. You want to go dark? I'll dive right into that black pit
with you. Right.


Sins (D): Sorry, YouTube.


Chard (A): Everybody said he was going to be agreeable.


Sins (D): Yeah, he's agreeably. Tainting all of every story with
his.


GP (E): Dad always up on the backstory on the lore. The GP.


Chard (A): Lore. Doesn't the GP lore.


GP (E): Yeah.


Chard (A): All right, guys, let's move on to the next one. So I
just recently got to know one of our villains in this particular
bracket, and I'm pretty excited about it because she's fucking
funny as shit. She kills me, literally. Tries to at least a
couple of times. And then this other one is we went with the
human form, the later form of this in particular. So we're going
to go with Gladys from Portal and Ganondorf Ganondorf, the dorf
in the later versions. Ganondorf Dorphy. Good old the zelda. This
is a good bracket montage.


GP (E): It also sucks because gentlemen, these are great bad
guys. Start your bad AIS.


Sins (D): Who's starting this one?


GP (E): I don't want to.


Wulff (B): I will start. So we've got the humanoid gannon.
Ganondorf. Or we've got genetic life form and disc operating
system.


Chard (A): But she's so funny.


Sins (D): Have you played number two? Yeah, I've been playing no,
jimmy, have.


Wulff (B): You played the show? Yeah.


Sins (D): Okay.


Wulff (B): Portal two.


Chard (A): This would be the time where I pull out my steam deck
and say, yes, I've been playing on my steam deck, but it's in the
living room because I was playing it on my steam deck.


Wulff (B): Absolutely. I've played portal one and two. I love
those games. But glados. Oh, man, I don't know. This is a tough
one because Gannon is just such an evil prick who is relentless,
right?


GP (E): What an. Ahole, absolutely.


Chard (A): But he has a smug look on his face too.


Jake (C): Don't punchable face.


Chard (A): Big fucking nose, asshole.


Wulff (B): Gladys isn't even really capable of emotion. She's
just doing what needs to be done.


Sins (D): No, but she is an asshole prick too. With the whole
parents thing. Your parents don't love you. Or this air is
recycled from outside. I'm just kidding. Or I saw a deer today,
but you don't get to.


Chard (A): Stasis.


Wulff (B): She is definitely endlessly demeaning, I will give you
that.


Chard (A): Which most people, when they come out of stasis, tend
to lose a little bit of weight and are fatigued. You don't appear
to have lost anything. Damn, bitch. Call me fat man.


Sins (D): When she has celebration for the character's parents,
confetti comes out.


Chard (A): Oh, I'm sorry, they don't love you.


Wulff (B): It's just a insults and attacks constantly.


Sins (D): Just verbal.


Wulff (B): Not just verbal, but you know what I mean, because she
does try to kill shell numerous times.


Sins (D): What about when she's in the potato? She actually kind
of has a personality with feelings when she's in the potato.


Wulff (B): I think that's partly because she doesn't have the
personality core limiters.


Sins (D): Right, right.


Wulff (B): So it's really all the Tweaking to her systems that
have made her how she is. She was not inherently that way, but at
the end of the day, those tweakings to the systems are still
Gladys and not the original person that she was based on. That
worked for Cave Johnson. At her core. She's Cave, johnson's
assistant. But the personality limiters have made her glados.
Right. And that's what we see as the villain in Portal. And then
you've got Gan, and again, like I said, he's just a relentless
reincarnating self aggrandizing wanting to take over the world.
Bastard, right?


GP (E): Yeah, he's the archetype.


Wulff (B): Yeah.


Chard (A): I don't know.


GP (E): Part of what makes Blatant so kind of scary and chilling
is because her motives were kind of unknown. To what degree? What
is her end game? If I die in this building, is she going to
continue mocking my corpse?


Sins (D): Well, and that's the thing that I want to bring up is
that's the thing I want to bring up is yes, Ganondorf has
continued to try to take over the world. Right? But here's the
thing about Gladys. The world has already ended and she's
continuing on with this last person.


Jake (C): Is that the lore for Portal?


Wulff (B): We don't know for sure.


Sins (D): You don't know? But there's no humans. You don't ever
see any other humans.


Jake (C): Right? Well, the facility is empty except for the one
character.


Sins (D): Well, but there are allusions to basically saying like,
this is post the end of humanity. There are illusions to that.


Jake (C): Okay, you guys kept saying Ganondorf is wanting to take
over the world. He does, though, in Arcarena of Time, he actually
ends up taking over the world when Link is stuck in a time thing.
And when you come out as adult Link, the world is basically an
apocalypse. Gannon rules everything. So he kind of does win in
Link to the Past. He maintains dominion over the entire dark
world. So he's always had in some capacity like this. He controls
vast number of people and, like, takes him down. But he still he
wins to a degree. Right?


Wulff (B): Yeah. Well, he also you come into Breath of the Wild,
and Gannon has already won. You're well past Gannon winning.


Sins (D): That's true.


Wulff (B): Gannon is supposed to be the physical form of evil in
The Legend of Zelda. Right. Like, that's what Gannon is, no
matter what iteration of it. Gannon is the physical manifestation
of evil in Zelda.


Sins (D): Right.


Wulff (B): Whereas glados she's got goals with psychopathic
tendencies. Right. And it's hard to say which is scarier, kind of
no, this is crazy, is scary and Gladys is crazy.


GP (E): And you don't have enough information because of the
Starkness and the scarcity of anything in the Portal games, your
knowledge of what is is severely limited. But you know that
there's this very irritating but oddly charming, funny, sexy,
early bond kind of voice talking to you.


Sins (D): Anyway, Gannon, real quick aside, real quick aside,
there's a poker game on steam poker night.


Wulff (B): Poker night at the inventory.


Sins (D): Yeah. And the second one, Gladys, is the dealer. And it
is delicious. It is absolutely delicious.


Chard (A): I just had dinner, too.


Wulff (B): This is a tough one.


Chard (A): I forgot Wolf hasn't been yeah, I.


Wulff (B): Think I have to it's it's very close, but I gotta go
Gannon on this one.


GP (E): I agree, Gannon dorf. But who would I rather probably
have a conversation with? Gladys?


Sins (D): There's two for Gannon. There is a scene in my mind
there is a scene in my mind in Portal Two when Wheatley has been
helping or you've been helping Wheatley get the system activated
again and all of a sudden that elevator starts going up and all
those switches start flipping. And then you see Gladys peel
herself off the floor in her cybernetic bits and pieces and it is
terrifying. And then on top of that, for those that have VR
whatever, that steam that VR. No, but I'm talking the game that
they made where you can like but it's all portal based game
stuff.


Chard (A): Oh, is it really? Yes.


Sins (D): And Gladys gladys is massive and terrifying.


Wulff (B): So they did something.


Chard (A): You can play portal on VR.


Sins (D): No, it's its own game. I can't remember what it's
called. There's a scene where you assemble the little dudes that
are in Portal Two.


Wulff (B): And there's a scene where you okay, this is a thing
that they built to sort of teach you how to use the valve index.


Sins (D): It was prior to valve index. This was during live.


Wulff (B): Okay.


Sins (D): But if you go into that, you put that headset on it,
you look up a gladys, it's called the lab. That's what it is.
It's the lab.


Chard (A): The lab.


Sins (D): It is terrifying. Yeah, it is terrifying. I'm going to
say Gladys because to.


GP (E): Me.


Sins (D): There is nothing more sinister than what seems like the
world has already ended and the villain is still going. Like the
villain has one last toy and is still going. So I'm going to vote
for Gladys because it's not even trying to take over the world.
She just wants to experiment on these people.


GP (E): Just wants to watch the world burn. I think I just came
up with that.


Chard (A): That is kind.


Sins (D): So gladys here.


Jake (C): So I was already to say Gannon but then sister is
making a good point and then Wolf said something that's sticking
with me where it's just like Gannon is the embodiment of evil.
Sure. But Gladys is crazy and crazy is scary and terrifying.


Wulff (B): Yeah, crazy beats scary is what it was. I think.


Chard (A): Crazy hot. Crazy hot scale, right?


Jake (C): So Link against Gannon. Link kind of knows where he
stands with Gannon, right. At all times. He's evil. He's the bad
guy. His mission is defeat Gannon. He knows this. They could
enter a room together and they know where he stands with Gannon.
He's just the bad guy. Glados you never know. Is she throwing you
a bone, throwing you some cake, trying to get you to help you? Or
is she just experimenting as another trap, another twist, another
minor cake.


GP (E): There will be cake. You will.


Sins (D): Spoiler. Warning for those that haven't played portal
one I'm going to say this. There is a line where she says in one
of the experiments she says I lied to you but I won't lie to you
again. And then later, like a couple of experiments later she
says you will be baked and then there will be cake. And you think
it's a slip of the tongue.


GP (E): But there is no tongue.


Jake (C): Yeah, it's not.


GP (E): There's only a disk operating system.


Jake (C): The other thing is too is Gannon.


Chard (A): Is he's the bad guy.


Jake (C): He's kind of like created these dungeons or added his
minions to these dungeons. His final tower is constructed by him.
It's really not effective at all. Really. Link easily trounces
the final dungeon arcane of time and makes it to the top. It's
not much of an obstacle. Whereas Gladys has made a maze of traps
and just terrifyingly difficult puzzles to torment and torture
the player. I actually think Gladys I think is the better villain
in this case. I didn't think I'd go this way but I'm going to
vote Gladys.


Sins (D): All right, one last thing. And this has no voting like
tie to it whatsoever. I talked to Chard about this but the anger
module is voiced by Mike Patton.


GP (E): Also Ganondorf I think has to win with horse riding
abilities. So not that's part of the official you ever see Gladys
on a horse? I've not.


Chard (A): How fortuitous that I am here yet again. Being the
tiebreaker between you chosen charge.


Jake (C): Your opinion matters again.


Wulff (B): Yeah.


Jake (C): Two for two.


GP (E): Wow.


Chard (A): Two for two. That's never did it right there.


GP (E): What do we got?


Chard (A): I'll approach. It the same way that my phone call went
this morning. Gannon Dorf is a fantastic additional fuck it.
Gannon is an evil motherfucker and he's repetitive, but it's the
trope. It's the same thing, right? I'm going to kidnap Zelda
user.


GP (E): It's consistency.


Chard (A): My shit is pretty consistent and nobody wants to hear
about that either.


Sins (D): It's true.


GP (E): Charge. Deuce. Moving on to the next round.


Chard (A): That is my shit.


Sins (D): In a surprise twist, not only do we have gravity going
one round, but we have charged shit going on round three.


GP (E): What kills more people? Gravity or charge?


Jake (C): Please continue.


GP (E): I'm sorry, I'm done interrupting.


Chard (A): I am Gwen Stefani. Shit.


GP (E): But one more thing.


Chard (A): Okay, Fenda?


Wulff (B): Yeah.


Chard (A): I got to go. Gladys. So here's my thing about Gladys.
Sinister literally pulled the thing from my brain is the thing
coming up and you're flipping all the switches on and Gladys
coming in, following that. Gladys remembers you killing her, and
she constantly reminds you of it the entire time you're running
around inside the fucking maze. And every time you feel like
you're going to get out just puts you further, deeper in and then
gives you some fucking snide comment about you. That's horrible.
And it's literally it's the kid with the magnifying glass on the
anthill. That's exactly what it is. She is playing with you the
entire time.


GP (E): One of my favorite things about Portal was discovering
that it was kind of a psychological horror game going into it.
You don't know it. It's fun, it's cheeky. It's a puzzle game.


Chard (A): You just think it's a puzzle game.


GP (E): Oh, my God, I'm getting shot at. As you're learning more,
I really don't.


Chard (A): Want your learning the entire way. Yeah, she's
twisted. She's twisted. Fuck. And she does want to kill you, but
unlike Gannon, wants to take over the world and links just in the
way of that. That's pretty basic, right? You're in the way of me.
Or he's already done it and he's trying to maintain his evil
persona and links. He's the fly in the ointment. He's the monkey
wrench in the gears. I got to kill this motherfucker. Gladys is
just like inkling of hope. You may have no, take that away. Oh,
hey, I'm going to give you a little bit. No, I'm going to go
ahead and take that away. And you're just going to keep getting
worse and worse. She goes, I'll kill you eventually, but right
now, this is just too fun.


GP (E): It's that whole going back to talk about my dad real
quick in a weird coincidence.


Jake (C): I'm kidding.


GP (E): Please, go ahead.


Chard (A): Yeah, I got to go. Gladys and it's fresh with me. It's
a fresh thing with me. So it's still like, on the brain with her.
I've been really impressed as I think Jake said it, where it was
like this. You think it's just a puzzle game. GP and Jake both
said it. It's a puzzle game. And I just never got into how
interesting the puzzle aspect of it was. But there's so much more
into it, and she's so fucking twisted. I remember fighting her at
the end of the first one. It's like, this is crazy. All the
shit's going down. Gladys is my winner for this round.


Sins (D): And for me, one of the things I absolutely love is I
went into that game thinking it was just a bear puzzle game. Just
a bear puzzle game. And then it has this very cool backstory of
what Gladys is doing to you.


Chard (A): Anyway. All right, so Gladys, winner of the over
Ganondorf. Perfect. All right, I'll try and speed these up
because we're already 52 minutes in and we still got at least
three more to go. All right, our next one ridley from Metroid
series and Salvanis from the Warcraft series. Now, I know there
is a lot of deep knowledge amongst this panel for at least one of
these characters. I'll go first. So please have added gentlemen,
give us.


Jake (C): That Lord dump GP.


GP (E): Well, okay, no, I don't want to retread things that
everybody here clearly already knows and it would be insulting to
the audience to go over too much. One of the things that I like
so much about Ridley is actually tangentially to Glados. It's
this idea of the unquantifiable entity. We don't exactly know the
motivations right away. We just know there's, in the case of
Ridley, this big, imposing figure that we have to figure out how
to take down. And the fact that Ridley comes back several
different times for the series, I don't know. And then, of
course, the other person that you named who I mean, what.


Sins (D): Needs to be said about Sylvanis?


GP (E): What else can you say that hasn't already been said and
documented in the annals of time? But that said, Ridley I always
thought Ridley, aside from being kind of scary or whatever, just
a really cool bad guy. And then the revelation of Ridley being in
prime when you first see him and all that kind of thing and then
you think you've taken him down with the space frigate and then
just for him to I don't know, it was some cool shit and a dope
looking bad guy.


Chard (A): That's my I think you pronounced annals wrong. It's j
annals.


Sins (D): Analyze anals.


GP (E): I thought you were going a different direction. Anyway,
yeah, so that's me, of course. I'm kind of a Metroid fanboy, so
yeah, that's where I fall between that one and.


Wulff (B): Runner.


GP (E): Sylvana.


Chard (A): Windrunner was my maiden name.


Sins (D): Ilvana.


Wulff (B): Let me give you guys some backstory on Sylvanis and
Ridley.


GP (E): Please.


Chard (A): You mean Kerrigan?


Wulff (B): Yeah, I can do some backstory on Ridley, too.
Actually, I did some reading about him today. Fantastic. I want
to preface this by saying if we were counting expanded lore
outside of the Games, ridley would win. Okay? Because Ridley,
shown outside of the Games in the manga is one evil, soulless son
of a bitch right? But once you limit your lore base to just
what's in the video games, Sylvanis wins. And it's not entirely
because she's just a bad person. Because she's not entirely a bad
person. She was actually someone of great stature and honor who
her soul was ripped out of her by the Lich King, and then he
turned her into a monster. And she's been wrestling with that
ever since. Her soul was split in two when that happened. When
it's together, she is at least someone who is trying to make a
better world for the people like her, the Forsaken, the undead
that don't answer to the Lich King. Right? But when her soul is
ripped apart, separated, the evil part is pure evil and commits
genocide. Right? She burned down the world.


GP (E): That's Sylvana.


Chard (A): Sylvana Winchester.


Wulff (B): She was willing to do whatever it took for other
people's nefarious devices. Right. But when her soul is whole,
she actually means well and does not get her hands all that dirty
unless she absolutely has to for the greater good of the Forsaken
first, the Hoard second. She's for her people first and then for
her faction second. But that's still way up there, right? It's
just the fact that her soul can be separated again makes her a
scary villain because she will go to great darkness to achieve
things.


Chard (A): Remember that episode where Sylvanus and Dean were
fighting the Lich King outside of the hotel? And then the yellow
eyed Lich King, he throws the holy water and he says, hey, ass
face, and then he throws on her, and then Sylvanus gets trapped.
Her soul gets trapped in the cage with Satan or Lucifer. I
remember that.


Wulff (B): It wasn't as face. It was ass butt.


Sins (D): Yeah.


Wulff (B): Okay, you're a short ass, but.


Jake (C): I want to build on what Wolf said. So the thing with
Savannah so when we're making this list of villains, I think we
had to put a Blizzard villain on here. The problem is a lot of
Blizzard villains are very formulaic, right? Like, we joked.
Carrigan. Right. There's also the lady who played Diablo in
Diablo three. Kind of some similar personality traits, I guess.
But Sylvanus, though, she's a long standing character. Going back
to warcraft three and then World of Warcraft. Yes, in World of
Warcraft Three, or sorry, Warcraft Three, she was the bad guy,
but she's under the control of the Lich King Arthur when she
freed herself in World Warcraft and built up a faction of
basically the undead who opposed the Lich King. She's not
necessarily a bad guy. Yes, she's looking for people and very
Xenophobic, maybe you could say. But she's still looking out for
people. So I don't think she's evil then. And there were recent
expansion. This is why I want on the list. She becomes the bad
guy in that expansion. I think she goes to, like, the afterlife.
I don't know the warcraft lore, but she goes to the afterlife and
makes a deal with the jailer, the demon. And part of the deal is
that she becomes alive again. But she has to kill people to feed
him souls. And that's why I felt she was, like, such a great
villain. But by the end of that Expansion, she's redeemed her
soul. Pieces that are split are burst together, and she feels
remorse and guilt and all those things. And by the end of that
Expansion, she's no longer a villain. She's trying to redeem
herself. So that, I think, does not make her villain. Just like
megas. I was all ready to say she was the big, the winner in
this. But when I read that last bit of lore today at the end of
the expansions, that's what happens to her. That's her fate, is
she redeems herself. And she's out there in the world now trying
to gain due penance to make up for the atrocities that she's
committed. I think that turns around. And much like Meghan, I
think she's maybe not the better villain in this case.


Wulff (B): Yeah.


Sins (D): All right.


Chard (A): Sylvanus's origin story is going to premiere on The WB
here real soon, too.


Sins (D): So, are you saying that's two for Ridley and one for
Sylvana?


Jake (C): Ridley is not a great villain. Like, Ridley, to me, is
super Metroid, and that's it, right? You shoot him in the intro
and then you have a boss fight with him.


GP (E): Sorry, did Ganondorf show up in a bunch of other
properties I don't know about?


Wulff (B): Other than Ridley?


Chard (A): Mega Ridley? Holy shit. That thing is mega.


Wulff (B): Ridley is not Ridley. Right, but it's made of himself
to show how powerful he is.


Jake (C): Oh, I thought it was him.


Chard (A): That's a pretty evil trope. You know what? I'm going
to make an evil robot of myself just to prove you how fucking
evil I am. That seems pretty evil.


Jake (C): That's the robot I'm delegating.


Chard (A): I may not have seen that episode of Supernatural, but
I'm telling you, that's pretty fucked up.


Wulff (B): Two things we never actually learn of Ridley's
personal motivations in the Games. Also, he just works for Mother
brain.


GP (E): Kind of a dick, non quantifiable entity. Why is this
person destroying Henchmen then?


Jake (C): Not a villain? Is that the argument?


Sins (D): I guess.


Wulff (B): Yeah. He's basically a cooper kid.


Chard (A): What is it, two and two still?


Sins (D): I'm going last. I haven't voted.


Chard (A): Okay, well, you know what?


Jake (C): I think I might go back to savannah has been a villain,
right, in the past. I can't even see the name. Windrunner has had
a villainous past. She may not be a villain currently, but she
was. Ridley's just a henchman and has always been a henchman.
He's just a schmuck. All right, you know what? It will flip me.
I'm Sylvanis.


Sins (D): Okay? So sylvana. Sylvanis. Ridley for GP. What are you
charred last?


Chard (A): Go.


GP (E): No, real quick, please keep in mind to the two other guys
who still need to vote here, if you vote Sylvanis, that means
that Sylvanis will show up in another bracket and we're just
going to have to talk about her some more. We all have to act
like we know what's going on.


Wulff (B): She's a better villain.


Chard (A): No, I'm going, Ridley, because I've seen that episode
of Supernatural and it wasn't very good.


Sins (D): So now it's two and two, right?


Wulff (B): Yes.


GP (E): Okay, that's announced my retirement. Go ahead.


Sins (D): I'm going, Sylvanus, because no werewolf is absolutely
right. We talked about how these are specifically the video game
villains versions and Ridley in the video game is just a boss.
Sylvan just a boss and not the final boss.


Chard (A): All right, that's fine. No, that's fine. You could be
a bad guy for like, a segment and then be good again and still be
a better villain than a person that's a villain all the time.
That's fine. That seems to make perfect sense.


GP (E): That's all it is. You're just a temporary asshole. That's
all it is.


Chard (A): That's fine. I'm sorry I didn't eat today. I was
hangry. Best villain ever.


Jake (C): Have a snicker.


Chard (A): You're good.


Sins (D): Except for I didn't eat today and I'm an asshole means
I actually fed human lives to the Lich King. That's fine.


Chard (A): I fucking slept 3 hours. I guess I'm the best villain
today. Cool.


GP (E): If somebody would just give don't worry.


Chard (A): And my advanced DG, all my soul shards will come back
together and I'll stop eating a dick. Cool. Your soul shard
villain.


GP (E): I love that.


Chard (A): They're all in my kitchen next to my advanced GG
shaker. Terrible pick. Let's move on. So what everybody's been
waiting for? Let's go. We got two final fantasies back to back,
but I'm going to throw you a curveball. Yeah, we're going to
pick. Everybody likes Sephiroth for some reason is picked on
here. I don't know why we went with Sephiroth. There's better
villains than that, but not Canadian. So I guess I don't have to
understand.


Jake (C): I didn't make these brackets. It was a group.


Chard (A): Of the gods. Section two.


GP (E): Versus what?


Chard (A): I love all the squids. It's just Kafka. I'm just
fucking with you. It's Kafka. Kafka versus Sephirothko. This
should be an easy one.


Sins (D): Kafka, look.


GP (E): Life, dreams, hope. Where do they come from? Where do
they go? Such meaningless things. I'll destroy them all. Kafka
for the win. Forever and always.


Sins (D): Where did you go?


Chard (A): Oh, must be exhausting.


GP (E): We talked earlier about how one of the benchmarks of an
interesting villain is a strong willed person who believes
they're doing the right thing thanos Ultron. Just use some comic
book tropes. The great thing about Kefka is Kefka doesn't really
have the ideals of right or wrong. They are bat shit crazy in a
similar way to the Joker, but to a very, very successful degree.


Sins (D): We talked about how crazy is scarier than evil. Kafka
is crazy when he man killed an entire kingdom.


GP (E): Yes, the kingdom of Doma poisoning. And he becomes all
powerful and in a way that's what he's after. But he doesn't
really care about being powerful. He just cares about destroying
the power is not the goal. Ending everything is the goal. The
power is just the means for it. And.


Sins (D): The power to destroy a world was in Kafka all along.


Chard (A): Yeah. And all of us.


Wulff (B): Yeah.


GP (E): I don't know about all right, that's two for Kefka.


Chard (A): How did Sephiroth even get a fucking.


Wulff (B): Heyday, Sephiroth looks cool.


Chard (A): Yeah.


Jake (C): He is a big source.


Wulff (B): An angry toddler.


Chard (A): Yeah.


Wulff (B): He is just mad about his life circumstance.


Chard (A): Genetically enhanced toddler.


Wulff (B): That's all it is. Whereas Kefka and we're going to
bring it around. We're going to bring it around. Kefka is the
joker. If Joker had magic.


GP (E): Yeah, that's exactly right. That's a mic drop. Don't drop
the mic. But that's right.


Chard (A): There goes the thing is, somebody lied.


GP (E): To Kefka about who his real mom is. And the reveal of
that in the game, I think was one of the highlights of Final
Fantasy Seven, because he believes he was an ancient, but turns
out he wasn't. He ends up being descendant of this other horrible
thing that came to Earth. So big twisty reveal there. You don't
have to have a big twisty reveal with Kafka. He just did the
thing he said he was going to do.


Wulff (B): Yeah, he's just horrified. All he cares about is
himself. That's it.


Chard (A): I don't even think he cares about himself. I think he
doesn't care about anything.


Wulff (B): No, he cares about him. If he didn't care about
himself, he wouldn't name things after him. He wouldn't say, I'm
rebuilding the world in my image.


Chard (A): He is, right?


Jake (C): Yes.


Wulff (B): An egomaniac to the umpteenth degree. Right. He wanted
power, so he became a general for Emperor Gestalt. And then
Gestalt was like, no, stop. And he was like, you're stupid. You
don't know what you're talking about. I'm not stopping here. And
so he kept going and kept going and kept going. And then he
succeeded, and then he kept everybody down afterward. Even after
he was a success, he still didn't care about anybody but himself.


GP (E): Yeah. The closest thing Kepka ever cared about, in my
opinion, in my estimation, is trying to get people to understand
why nothing matters, and he doesn't really care that they
understand it, but he still poses those questions. Why do people
cling to life knowing it has to end, and that once you're dead,
none of it will have meant anything? Like, that's? Some lofty ass
shit for six year old me. And I'll say this. Even if Kafka was
we'll say, Dr. Wiley, I would probably still vote for him based
on nothing other than the Kafka Tower fight battle music fair.
I'll stop now. I'll let everybody else talk.


Chard (A): You're good. So is that three for Kafka?


Wulff (B): I vote Kafka.


Chard (A): All right.


Sins (D): Jake, you don't matter.


Jake (C): Yeah, I know. The story of my life.


Chard (A): I'll just say.


Jake (C): I thought when the brackets were randomly selected in
this. I thought there'd be more of a fight and more balanced
fight, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, the brackets fate was
wrong.


GP (E): That speaks to Kepka. I'm sorry. Would easily beat see
how Gladys feels about it. Charge.


Jake (C): So Sephiroth's greatest achievements is he burned a
village down and he killed Eris.


Wulff (B): Or Erith well, I mean nearly destroyed the planet with
a giant comet, if you recall.


Jake (C): Yeah, but then Kafka literally destroyed everything.


GP (E): The weapons, the giant elemental weapon beasts. He took
down Midgar, which is the source of all the horrible stuff.


Wulff (B): Transformers.


GP (E): Yeah. Sephiroth is a badass again, that doesn't.


Chard (A): Take away from Sephora screamer off.


Jake (C): I think I'm going to go back to what you said earlier.
Crazy is scary. Like, crazy is terrifying. And Kefka is going to
win. But I was hoping that Sephiroth would have more of an
argument for him. But ultimately, I think kefa. This one.


Wulff (B): I've always thought that Sephiroth was just like an
adult child having a tantrum.


GP (E): Scary or pure than a child. The quote from Bebop or
crazy.


Jake (C): No, but GP, when you mentioned the backstory in
Sephiroth and where he came from, I completely forgotten. He
thought he was an ancient. And there's a whole weird thing there
that the story in fanface seven was always just confusing. I
still never understood. I was hoping the remake would expand on
that when they finally finish whatever, how many parts they do.


Chard (A): We're going to leave out all that important stuff.


GP (E): I think we took out Liquid, am I correct? I'll mention
this real quick. The reason I thought Liquid Snake would have
been interesting for this is because the whole premise to Metal
Gear Solid is we have these two genetically almost identical
twins who are manufactured, and then one is believing himself to
be the inferior clone, and the other one superior, and it kind of
goes back and forth. So then Solid Snake ends up winning. And the
big kind of twisty thing there, because they do that in that
series a lot, is that in fact, Solid Snake was the inferior one,
and that theming. And that twist kind of speaks back to the only
thing, in my opinion, that really makes Sephiroth super
interesting is realizing or finding out eventually you're not
what you thought you were.


Wulff (B): You heard it here first, folks. Solid snake is Danny
DeVito. Confirmed.


GP (E): Anyway, all right, sorry.


Chard (A): Thank you for that Kafka sweeps. Okay, I'll cut it
short. I don't need to go on my die triad for that. You know how
I feel about that. All right, we'll go into the next one.
Robotnik eggman as depicted by Jim Carrey in the recent films and
Dr. Wiley of the Mega man series.


Sins (D): Gentlemen, can I start this one?


Chard (A): You have your doctor's degrees, you have your eight
years in college and in what do they do in practice? Residence.
That's it. Resident, please don your white lab coats and. Vote.


Sins (D): Okay, my vote.


Chard (A): Sorry, you can go first.


Sins (D): My vote. Who cares? Move on.


Chard (A): Because we'll have a fucking awkward leg if that's the
case. And Kefi will automatically win.


Sins (D): Fine. Dr. Wiley. Because Mega Man I don't know, I
always felt like eggman robotnik was like I always felt like he
was a joke. Honestly, I always did. At least Wiley was. I don't
know, he felt like robots should always be subservient. So let's
go. Wiley wins.


Wulff (B): They're both pretty egomaniacal and kind of inept. Let
me say something here. How many eons of injustice is Dr. Wiley
responsible for? Start with Mega man. He is responsible for the
events of Mega Man X, which lead to the events of Mega Man Zero,
which lead to the events of Mega Man ZX. All of that is Wiley's
fault.


GP (E): Yes, he even comes back as surges in my mind palace in X
Two. I know there's a subreddit there, but you're exactly right.
I don't want to step on you. I'll wait for my turn.


Chard (A): Go ahead.


GP (E): Sorry.


Wulff (B): No, and even if you look at the Battle Network aspect,
I'm pretty sure he's responsible for all of those six. And then
it goes on to what? Star Force? Which is a spin off of Battle
Network. So regardless of Mega Man timeline, you follow, wiley is
responsible for everything. Maybe he didn't Wiley all along, but
he did the most damage.


GP (E): Yes. I'll kind of make my case here. The bad thing about
Wiley is he failed a bunch. I can name at least eleven instances
in which he did. With that said, whatever it was, he died. His
final fuck you to the world was leaving the Zero virus like his
last send off was apocalyptic levels of horseshit. But the pro
for him being voted is, like you said, the longevity. His legacy
of evil is top tier. So if you look at Robotnik, kind of a silly
bad guy. I don't really fully understand the story there, why he
hates Sonic. Here's the thing though. If you're going to say a
pro about Robotnik, and this will lead into his con, he's
actually faster than Sonic the Hedgehog. If you make it to the
end of Sonic Two, as I recently did, there is a foot race that
happens and it doesn't matter if you're running a Sonic or if
you're in your little run like Naruto. Yeah, and Naruto runs all
the way to the end. So he is faster than the enemy that he is
trying to beat. And his enemy, Sonic, the only thing he's famous
for is his speed. So why go through all the extra stuff? Why
build the giant robots? Why do all that stuff when you can just
say Sonic, I bet I can beat you, and we'll go our separate ways?


Wulff (B): That he's got to think it's jewelry, right?


GP (E): Yeah, I mean, can't blame that.


Wulff (B): All he's really after is the the bling bling.


GP (E): So, you know, that's robotics kind of.


Chard (A): Cue the ring sound. Cue the ring sound.


GP (E): Sinister, would you put the the ring sound in after you
make the shiny thing? And anyway sure, and show me every step of
the process. But the thing is I love you so much, Sinister.
You're my best friend. I got to give it to Wiley for those
reasons.


Chard (A): Oh, man, there's so many inside jokes in this episode.
I think you and I might have a similar answer being Sega kids at
one point in our lives.


Jake (C): Yeah, for me, when I look at this matchup, they do feel
very similar in that they both fail a whole lot. And I'm not as
familiar with the X lore and ZX and all that stuff. I only know
the classic Mega Man games and Dr. Wiley there, where even when
he's not the bad guy, he still kind of is, but he still loses
every damn time, and he keeps making invention after invention,
and they all fail to make a man. So I don't know, but it's also.


GP (E): The sorry, go ahead. I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep
interrupting.


Jake (C): Yeah, not to say Robotnik is this supervillain. He also
loses a Sonic every damn time. What does it say when the most
brilliant mind in that franchise loses to a blue little fur ball?
Every time, right? Like every single time. Yeah, he's faster
than.


Sins (D): All that means is that Sonic was the true villain all
along.


GP (E): Look, either die a hero, or you live long enough to see
yourself become the villain.


Jake (C): So here's where I'm going to fall on this one, because
I think both of them are inept villains. From my experience in
the franchise, I played with them. They both lose all the time.


Sins (D): I come back and come down.


Jake (C): No, well, I care for the sake of the science in this
bracket, in this tournament important, it's relevant. We're doing
dedication here, dedication. We're professional at Press B. So,
look, don't let me forget, my point comes down to shit, I lost
it.


GP (E): Well, while he's searching Sonic, which one are you
picking?


Chard (A): Robotnik or Wiley?


Jake (C): Who's more recognizable as a bad guy? If you went to
the streets and you asked ten people who's actually a villain of
these two names, if you name drop Robotnik or Eggman, and you
name drop Wiley, most people are going to say, who the fuck is
Dr. Wiley? Nobody, nobody knows who that guy is. But I think more
people know who Robotnik is. I think he has more of a legacy as a
bad guy good or if he's bad at the job or not. He's more
recognizable. So my vote is robotnik.


Chard (A): I think the only reason Robotnik benefits from that
concept is because of the movies and their recent, recent
release. I think if you took James Carey out of this whole
picture and you don't have this movie series and you go and ask
people, who do you know, I think Wiley would win, personally,
because there's more games with a minute, I think it would still
be close. I'm not saying that it would be a sweep or a landslide,
but I definitely would think that more people would know Nintendo
game Mega Man, at least the originals, than they would Sonic
stuff. That's me personally. I'm a Sonic kid. Not over mega, man.
I love Mega Man, don't get me wrong. But my hang up on Robotnik
and why I think he was worse than Wiley is because he trapped
animals in all his fucking machines. He was captured woodland
creatures and had them power his fucking machines, which is what
Sonic was doing. Now, I'm going to bestow some knowledge on you
gentlemen, because many, many years ago I had a magazine. It was
a Disney Adventure magazine. Within this little book was Sonic's
origin story before it came out. Now it was in the was it.


Wulff (B): When he was brown?


Chard (A): Yes, when he was brown.


Wulff (B): I know it.


Chard (A): Yes. Okay, good. Someone will believe me. Yeah, I used
to have kids.


Wulff (B): I am very familiar with this.


Chard (A): They used to be friends.


Wulff (B): Yeah.


Chard (A): And then Sonic got his powers by some scientific
experiment gone wrong. And Eggman got his powers by trying to eat
an egg next to the same machine that gave Sonic his powers.


Wulff (B): Yeah, the whole mishap that happened turned Sonic blue
and made him even faster than he already was. And unfortunately,
Eggman was eating a hard boiled egg or something, and Egg
transferred to him. Robotnik is kintibor backwards. That's how he
got his name. But again, this isn't the game, lord. This is
random.


Chard (A): I'm so happy you knew that, Wolf. That makes me happy
that you recognize that. All right, good, because I thought you
guys were going to stare at me like I was talking on my ass. If I
was the only one who knew that story, I guarantee you I.


Wulff (B): Think I saw that in the game pro, personally.


GP (E): But wow, you guys are colluding. I think somebody paid
off somebody to tell their story.


Chard (A): Anyways, I picked Robotnik over Wiley myself because I
was a big Sonic fan growing up, and I still am a big Sonic fan
growing up. And he has some cool inventions. He made mechasonic.
He has the big fucking Wiley robot that's a big pain in the ass
to fight. Those are some cool shit. Now I know that Mega Man's
got every single fucking robot man ever and woman now ever
created and thrown out there that he had to fight so much, in
fact, that we were refucking cycling the names of cold in
different adjectives and verbs. Because frost man, ice man
slippery man frozen after so many degrees, man has to be there so
hard man. Flash man. Fucking light man. Fucking woodman. Fucking
flash man. Fucking blade man. Metal man, sword man. Kintaro man.


Jake (C): You know what's really, truly evil? What's truly evil?
Is the hit boxes on the sonic tube end, boss. That's true evil
right now.


Chard (A): You're not wrong. How many deaths did I get out of
that shit? So, yeah, Wiley wins this one. I'll stick my flag on
the Robotnik Planet and you guys go fly away and like, why the
world? That's fine with me.


GP (E): Real quickly. Well, I will admit eating an egg next to a
reactor or whatever is a cool origin story. The thing that makes
Wiley kind of awesome is he was the mirror image on a different
path than Dr. Light. Like, they were besties and then they
diverged, and I think that's very cool. I think that's more
compelling than, I want to eat this and hope nothing bad happens.


Sins (D): It didn't involve enough hard boiled eggs.


Chard (A): That's when we thought eggs were healthy and they
actually weren't, and then they were healthy again.


GP (E): Okay, to that. And this is a bit of a rabbit trail
science when it comes to eggs is very confusing. They say it's
good for you. They say it's bad for you. Only the white parts are
good. But I find the white part of the egg cuts up my gums and I
don't like eating that part.


Chard (A): Okay. And that's how he became a supervillain.


Sins (D): That's the wrong white part of the egg.


GP (E): We'll move on.


Jake (C): Okay?


Chard (A): Fantastic lightning round. Fantastic first round,
gentlemen. Fantastic first round. Very are we ready for the
lightning round?


Jake (C): Yes.


Chard (A): All right, first off, in the lightning round, bowser
of the Mario Saga versus Handsome Jack of Border Lawns. Come on,
gentlemen. Go.


Jake (C): Bowser. Bowser.


Sins (D): Handsome Jack.


GP (E): Are you saying that to be shitty, though?


Wulff (B): No, wait, I'm going to say Jack.


Sins (D): Is a better villain.


Wulff (B): I'm going to say Bowser again. Earlier, we were trying
to say how little he's done, but honestly, he made Mario do the
work for him. He turned the kingdom, the Mushroom kingdom, into
bricks and let his own nemesis kill them for him.


Chard (A): Kept him employed.


GP (E): Bowser moves on.


Chard (A): Yeah, that's three for Bowser and Handsome Jack. But
Bowser. Okay, good.


GP (E): What would you have said, George?


Chard (A): I would have said Handsome Jack, because that man
thinks he's the hero.


Sins (D): Yeah.


Chard (A): And that's fucked up. There's nothing worse than
someone doing the wrong thing and thinking they're right the
entire time.


Sins (D): No, not even scary.


GP (E): Because of how I load the dishwasher. I would like to say
I didn't.


Chard (A): Mean to personally attack one.


GP (E): I'm very proud of him.


Sins (D): I want to point out, it's not thinking that they're
right, it's knowing that he's right.


Chard (A): Right, exactly.


Wulff (B): Quote Malcolm Reynolds. There's nothing worse than a
monster who thinks he's right with God.


Sins (D): Yes.


Chard (A): And that guy. Yeah. Malcolm Reno's. Good old Malk.
Lightning round.


Wulff (B): Firefly, man, firefly.


Sins (D): Yeah, I got you.


Jake (C): I got the reference. I get that reference.


Chard (A): I left those nerd goggles at home.


Sins (D): Apparently, that man over there is playing Gallagher.
That's fine.


Chard (A): Semi lightning rounds. Gladys versus Silvada
Winchester.


GP (E): Oh glados got lucky.


Jake (C): Yeah, glados is the actual villain here.


Chard (A): Gladys yeah. Glados, you go back to the cage with
Lucifer. Savannah all right.


GP (E): Sorry about your soul.


Chard (A): Moving on. Top three. Okay. Why'd you put robotnik?
Dude, it's Wiley, first of all. Yeah, he's trying to cheat, okay?


Wulff (B): Trying to give robotnik the golden buzzer. What the
fuck?


Jake (C): I'm not even going to dignify this with an answer.
Okay, the brackets are randomized, I slipped up.


Wulff (B): The wins aren't.


Chard (A): Okay. Wow. I'm starting to wonder about this Canadian
AI. System. More so than I normally do. All right, guys, top
three. Let's start picking our top three.


Jake (C): Hold on. Keska versus Mary Wiley. Yeah, let's hear it.
You didn't do the last one.


Chard (A): Okay, I'm sorry. Keska versus Wiley.


Sins (D): Go.


Chard (A): Well, you see what happened.


Wulff (B): Wiley had the staying power. Wiley's impact lasted
till well, I mean, so did Kefka's, probably.


GP (E): Yeah, Kefka.


Chard (A): Thank you.


GP (E): He changed face of the planet.


Jake (C): Yeah. Forever.


GP (E): He rearranged existence. That's pretty impressive. As far
as villain credentials, he killed.


Chard (A): An entire kingdom because he wanted to.


GP (E): Wiley repurposed some robots.


Wulff (B): Yeah, but like you said earlier, his final fuck you
was the zero virus, which is very long that lasted.


GP (E): Yeah, I'm not trying to take away.


Wulff (B): From last, but interstellar travel.


GP (E): Hold on now.


Chard (A): Wow.


GP (E): I was just trying no, I love the devil's advocate.


Sins (D): That's great.


GP (E): The yellow devil's advocate.


Chard (A): That's the last we'll hear of Wiley for tonight. No,
we won't.


GP (E): He'll be back.


Wulff (B): He'll just wear Sunday all along Clark Kent levels of
incognito and it works.


Chard (A): I'm not doing it. It's this weird fucking foreign.


Wulff (B): Believe me.


Chard (A): A robot fighting usual hair, mr. X. Okay, final three.
Let's pick our top three. Mario Brothers Bowser Gladys of the
Portal series. And Kafka. The Final Fantasy series. Gentlemen,
what are three, twos and ones?


GP (E): I know the answers.


Jake (C): Bowser is going to be three, right?


Sins (D): Bowser's three.


Chard (A): Yeah, I got a bowser. I want to go bowser Gladys.


Sins (D): That's what I like. I'll go with that one.


GP (E): I would have gone Kapka. Bowser. Gladys.


Jake (C): I think Gladys more iconic than Bowser, I think, just
in terms of being a villain.


GP (E): Okay, glad metrics. Who do you think has more tattoos in
the world? You think there are more bowser tattoos or more glados
tattoos?


Chard (A): I don't know, but I think it.


GP (E): Makes myself because I have one of each.


Sins (D): I'm now thinking of getting a glados tattoo, now that
you've mentioned it. And not a bowser tattoo.


GP (E): If it's not a tram stamp, I send it back.


Chard (A): Bowser and glad. I was looking each other in the eye.


Sins (D): Yes. With Kafka sitting above them.


Chard (A): That's right.


GP (E): I'm going to get the aperture logo around my nipple.


Sins (D): It'll be great.


Chard (A): No, I think bowser, you should have a portal going
into one and out the other.


GP (E): There we go.


Sins (D): Three out of the three. Bowser to me is the softest of
the three. No, because sure it is.


Jake (C): Van.


Sins (D): He got Mario to do his evil bidding and destroy people.
But at the end of the day, who does he really want to kill?


Jake (C): Nobody.


Sins (D): Right?


Wulff (B): Nobody. He just wants to get married.


Chard (A): Mary just wants to fucking smoke a bowl and chill out.
But Gladys wants fucking hot down here, bro.


Wulff (B): Glados want to blaze it.


Sins (D): Fuck wants to fuck with whatever your.


GP (E): Name is, so long as you're in the one building. Bowser's
evil knows no bounds.


Chard (A): He's been like the hell world running around and shit.


GP (E): No matter where the whistle tornado takes evil, too.


Sins (D): Who's to say that anybody else exists in the world?
Gladys is literally thinking, this is the last person alive.


GP (E): Because.


Wulff (B): Hold on. Can I bring us back to when we were playing
grabbing the mic, super Mario 3D, world on the switch when the
remake came out, right? I got to the end of that game, and first
you get to world seven, and Bowser's got this whole carnival
kingdom suspended on an island in the air that is held up by a
glass pipe, right?


GP (E): Bonn yes.


Wulff (B): And then all day, you finish that world, and he's got
another fucking island up in the sky suspended on another glass
pipe. The engineering prowess of this man's army is a hook.


Chard (A): Engineering prowess? And we're going to talk about an
AI that's trying to kill you inside.


Wulff (B): Of a he could ever change. Clearly, if he can suspend
two islands on glass pipe whoa.


Sins (D): Glass pipe is a far cry from building robotics. He's a
far cry from building robotics.


Jake (C): The only robots he builds are the mechacoopas and
they're fucking wind up. He can't even do batteries right. His
biggest crime support with his seven.


GP (E): Kids wind up makes it smarter instead of batteries.


Wulff (B): Clown, cop.


Chard (A): And it doesn't matter because just waiting for Peach
to come out and 420 blaze it with him.


Wulff (B): Capable villain on his own. But he has such he
commands things and they get done. Whatever he commands, it's
done.


GP (E): Gladys doesn't delegate. No villain, arguably, has been
better at delegating than Bowser.


Wulff (B): And they listen.


GP (E): They listen and they listen. And he names his children
interesting things. And he says, there's eight worlds here that
need to be guarded. I got the last one. I need to have seven
kids. And what's he do? He has seven kids.


Chard (A): Hopped or two if I had seven kids.


GP (E): I'm not saying he's not weird. I'm not saying he's cooler
than Gladys.


Wulff (B): Wait.


GP (E): I'm saying he's a more prolific villain.


Sins (D): Who did he knock up?


Chard (A): Leave me alone.


Sins (D): Who did he knock up? Since he's trying to get with
Peach?


Wulff (B): We don't know.


GP (E): We don't know.


Wulff (B): But he only has one.


GP (E): You're right.


Wulff (B): They're his sisters and brothers. Children who we
don't know. We assume he's just taking care of them, maybe even
Bowser family. And we don't know it. I don't know.


Jake (C): Like babies. Kids.


Wulff (B): Thought his name was Bowser. Cooper.


Chard (A): The Bowser brothers the almond browser.


Sins (D): I'm saying bowser's three.


Jake (C): Yeah.


GP (E): Who else agrees with that? I think we all know Kepka
wins.


Chard (A): Yeah.


Jake (C): Hold on now. Kafka versus Gladys.


Chard (A): You hold on now. Really?


Wulff (B): Kefka versus imaginable power.


Sins (D): Yeah, I have to give it to Kafka.


Wulff (B): Living space crazy really doesn't want to.


Chard (A): Just because he wants to be different and he doesn't
have to be.


GP (E): Early on, Kefka was going to win.


Sins (D): Gladys and Kafka are both crazy, but Kefka has the
power to destroy worlds.


GP (E): Yeah.


Jake (C): If you gave Gladys, if you let her out of that complex,
could she not destroy things?


Wulff (B): She doesn't care to be out of the complex.


GP (E): Did anybody let Keska do anything?


Wulff (B): No, he just got a whole song about doing science to
make the world better.


Chard (A): She'd be like handsome jack. She'd think she was
right. Yeah, that's pretty scary. But it's not Kefka's.


Wulff (B): Purview is very small compared to Kefka's.


Jake (C): Okay. All right.


GP (E): Closer than I thought. Dentist. We get it.


Chard (A): Yeah. The minute you put Kef on here, you knew it was
going to go to number one. You knew that if I didn't put.


Jake (C): Them in the brackets, there'll be butiny.


Wulff (B): Just to make this official, how many people agree with
Kefka as number one? Okay, that's four of us.


Jake (C): Fine. Look, your toothpaste has not been scientifically
proven to prevent cavities and tooth decay. Fuck you. But that's
okay.


GP (E): I wish we could see the report from that last dentist
that ends with fuck you. That'd be hilarious.


Wulff (B): Sound like Gladys has three votes for second and two
votes for third. So it sounds like it's Kefka, Gladys.


GP (E): Bowser and Jeff is saying we're predictable. I think
sometimes you can predict things because it's just inherently
correct.


Chard (A): Yeah. If we're never wrong.


Sins (D): Is correct predictable.


Jake (C): I know I'm never wrong.


Wulff (B): Let me posit this to the listeners and viewers as the
man who didn't, if you think there's a villain worse than Kafka,
come in the discord and share it with us, please.


Sins (D): There you go.


Wulff (B): Comment on the YouTube, comment on the video.


Sins (D): Come into.


Wulff (B): Video game. Video game villains.


Sins (D): Press.


Chard (A): Also, we're going to premise this. It's okay to be
wrong because Jake's on the show.


Wulff (B): Shit.


GP (E): Wow. Now? Yes. Just because we as a group decided to kept
the one it's not official until Jake where that's by hosted wiley
might still win. We don't really know.


Sins (D): I keep realizing that Jake has the power to you're an
excellent host right now. He could be like click. Thanks, guys.
See you.


Jake (C): Yeah. Gladys pulls off her hat and it's widely all
along. I am curious, though, for listeners if there is a better
villain for this list because we did struggle a bit trying to
determine what villains put on this list.


GP (E): We labored.


Jake (C): So there's a lot out there and it's tough.


Chard (A): There was laboring.


Sins (D): Yeah.


Chard (A): Or chugging. Dr. Robotnik.


GP (E): Good job.


Chard (A): That's the Canadian version.


Jake (C): Which is different than the American dr. Robotnik for
sure.


GP (E): Do you guys even have eggman up where you live? I don't
know.


Jake (C): Why is he eggman all of a sudden? He's been a robotic
in North America for decades. Why they changed his name? Because
he's always been in the movies. He's eggman in the movies.


Chard (A): I don't know. That maybe copyright.


Wulff (B): Yeah, I don't know.


Chard (A): I mean, they have a giant blue hedgehog where they
don't have a copyright for ignorant.


GP (E): March Radness has been fantastic.


Chard (A): It's sonic.


Sins (D): To do the required to do the required like this
subscribe tell your friends, go to press btcancel.com where you
can find our discord to come. Tell us how wrong we are.


GP (E): Yes. More than anything, the key takeaway is tell us why
we're wrong.


Sins (D): Yes.


Jake (C): Tell these other four enthusiasts why they're very
wrong.


Sins (D): Thank you. Or Gladys fans, unite. Let's go.


Jake (C): Yeah.


Wulff (B): Okay.


GP (E): One last thing. If I were going to get a blue and an
orange portal tattoo on my body, it would be the armpits. It
would look like the toss of armpit hair.


Chard (A): Just better yet, you have them shave the armpit hair
and then whatever's on the other side, have them draw that in the
portal so when you lift it up, it looks like you're looking at
the tattoo part of the way you got it done it. Wow.


GP (E): I've got a $25 budget for this.


Chard (A): It looks like you're going to get the sharpies out
because that's how that sharpies and the needles.


Sins (D): Jeff just brought up. Andrus from starfox. Who.
Andross, yeah. We would happily take on Kafka. Moving on to
another round.


Chard (A): No way. That andros beats out Sylvanis Winchester. No
way. What a fantastic episode. It's good. Great. We made a whole
hour and a half, as is our normal bracket time. So I want to
thank the five of you that's including me, I'm thanking myself
for coming out and doing this. Guys, let's do the round robin.
Gentlemen, where can they find you?


Wulff (B): Jake?


Chard (A): Take it away.


Jake (C): You can find me on Twitter, sicjake and sometimes on
YouTube. I've been de rusting with Battodes. It's rough. Leave it
at that.


Chard (A): Where Wolf? Where can they find you, my friend?


Wulff (B): Mostly here. Hopefully soon. On YouTube. I've got a
couple of videos I've recorded. I just haven't uploaded them
because I don't get down to the office enough lately.


Chard (A): All good, Jake. I mean GP. Jake, you already went.
Stop stepping in front of GP. GP.


Jake (C): We are both handsome. Thank you.


GP (E): You can find me on you can find me on Twitch under
S-I-C-J-A-K-E. Search Google for it, tell you meant it. And I am
sinister.


Chard (A): GP. If you had a doomsday device, I'd power it. And
Cinnastar. Where can I find you?


Sins (D): Twitch TV cinestar 77. Where I think I'm at about the
back quarter of Chrono trigger.


Chard (A): You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? And you can
find me on Twitch. C-H-A-R-D-M-O-N-K twitter advanced. GG drink
up. Enjoy. No taste. And here Friday nights with these wonderful
gentlemen who have yet to fire me doing something wrong. Guys,
thank you so much for being here. We will see you next week with
more march. Radness wolf send us out.


Wulff (B): The Kempka is a lie.