What NOT to Do During a Breakup

Fr. Mike is asked a lot about what to do when your life is thrown
off course by a breakup. In a previous episode, Fr. Mike discussed
four questions to ask yourself when discerning God’s will for your
life. When presented with a new door (or big decision), ask
yourself: Is it good? Is it open? Is it wise? Is it something I
want? Now when applying this discernment process to a relationship,
you have to remember that the other person is likely asking him or
herself the same questions. The hardest heartbreak, though, comes
when the first three questions check out but the fourth question—Is
this something I want?—does not. In these situations, the one thing
Fr. Mike says not to do is blame God. If you’re the one choosing to
break up with your significant other, it’s easy to deflect the
blame onto God and say he told you to do it. It’s more likely,
however, that God gave you the freedom to choose what to do for
yourself. So take responsibility. If you are the one who was
dumped, God still has a plan for you. You are more than a footnote
to the life of your former boyfriend or girlfriend, so don’t let
anything he or she said make you feel that way. Go and find where
God is leading you next.