How to Deal with Your Partner’s Sexual Sin

Fr. Mike talks about how to navigate discussions with your partner
about sexual sin—whether it’s pornography, masturbation, or other
impurity. It’s important to realize that sometimes a person doesn’t
have a right to know everything about you immediately. Keeping this
in mind, at what point does a couple have to be vulnerable about
their sexual sins? After two months of dating, maybe six months?
It’s quite possible—actually likely—that a person’s sexual sins are
the most shameful part of his or her life, so when someone is not
exposing those sins—no matter how long the couple has been
together—it may just be that the person is not comfortable being
that vulnerable with their partner yet. A person has a right to be
hurt and mad if their partner is not revealing their sexual sins,
but he or she should also ask if they had a right to that
knowledge. Father Mike asserts that such knowledge doesn’t have to
result in the end of the relationship. Once the sin has been
revealed, it should stay revealed. Neither partner should just
assume that it’s in the past and done with. It’s bound to come up
again. If you’re struggling with sexual sin, your partner needs to
know you are doing everything you can to defeat the sin. He or she
probably shouldn’t be your accountability partner, but should be
informed. If your partner is the one struggling, you ought to help
him or her defeat the sin in whatever way you can. Both of you
should champion romantic love, since it is a strong combatant
against sexual sin.