Is It Ever Okay to Give Up?

You may have seen the movie Rudy. Its eponymous protagonist is a
not-so-athletic college football player who spent years taking hits
and practicing with his team, only to see a few moments on the
field. Those short moments, however, left him with a tremendous
feeling of accomplishment and pride, knowing that he committed to
something and saw it through, even when it seemed hopeless. The
question: is that always the right approach? Maybe if Rudy had
dedicated that time to learning something he was naturally better
at, he could have become an expert in his field. The choice Rudy
made was made out of passion: he loved the game to the point of
dedicating his college career to it, and not caring if the outcome
wasn’t what he had expected. But what about bigger dreams? The
dream of getting married, having kids, getting into a certain
religious order, entering into a certain profession? Is there ever
a point where you just have to give it up? There are a few things
it’s never okay to give up. It’s never okay to give up hope itself.
Hope is trust in the Lord extended into the future, knowing that he
will always be with you in whatever circumstances you find yourself
in. It’s also never okay to give up faith, God’s promises, or life
itself. However, it is okay—and sometimes wise—to reevaluate
certain outcomes, and realize that maybe it’s time to adjust your
expectations. How do you know when to do that? When reality makes
it obvious. For Rudy, that might have meant recognizing that he
wasn’t going to be a starter on his football team. It’s still okay
for him to want to be a part of the team in some way, and maybe get
playing time one day, but reality must be acknowledged and accepted
in these situations, or else we risk chasing empty expectations.
This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams, or that you
can’t do anything: it just means you can’t do everything. Maybe
your dream is to have a family, but you and your spouse can’t get
pregnant. You might not be able to conceive, but you can still
adopt, or be a foster parent. Accepting the reality of your current
situation means having a dream, realizing it’s place in your life,
and then asking, “Okay God, now what do you want me to do?” The
outcome may not be what you had expected or planned, but if it’s
with the Lord, it will still be good. And once we accept this
reality, we will start to see that the real work is being done in
our character, and that’s the power of trying. It may not make you
the kind of person you had planned to be, but it will make you the
kind of person that God wants you to be.