Setting Boundaries for Yourself and Others

We often receive the behavior we are willing to tolerate, but what
does that mean for our daily interactions? Communication is the
clearest way to let someone know how you are feeling. When meeting
with someone who you feel is being rude, we may try to give outward
signs of our discomfort, but we can’t guarantee they’ll understand
unless we tell them directly. And obviously, this isn’t easy. There
aren’t many people who love confrontation, and even some that do
anything they can to avoid it. We’re always so afraid that if we
bring up something that we want changed, or share something that’s
hurting us, that we’ll destroy that relationship. But more times
than not, confronting these things head on and setting these
boundaries won’t hurt the relationship but will strengthen it. This
isn’t just relevant for our relationships with other people either
- it’s relevant to our relationship with ourselves. How many times
have we made personal goals or aspirations but never changed our
behaviors to make them possible? We get the behaviors that we’re
willing to tolerate, even within ourselves. St. Ignatius of Loyala
had an exercise where he would imagine two sides, the side of the
evil one and the side of the Lord. In this exercise, he would look
at his decisions and choices for his life and decide, based on
which side they fell on, who he would ultimately join: the evil
one, or the Lord. By birth we belong to the evil one, but by
baptism we belong to the Lord. Each side is battling for us to come
over to their side, and if we are striving to be on the Lord’s
side, then we have to recognize boundaries for ourselves that we
can’t tolerate. This battle does not need to be fought alone—in
fact, it can’t be. We must rely on the infinite grace of God, which
he is longing to give us every second of our day. What are the
behaviors we need to remove from our lives for the glory of God?
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