Avoid These Parenting Pitfalls! Strategies to Protect Your Child’s Mental Health During Lockdown

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Behavior Analyst, Chris Messina, discusses parenting pitfalls to
be aware of in order to help protect your children’s mental
hygiene during coronavirus and lockdown measures.


Pitfall #1: Don’t double down on kids and try to
over-compensate for what is perceived as missed time.


Many parents feel that they need to set hard rules and push for
increased accomplishments in order to make up for lost time in
school and around peers. This includes rigorously tracking
academics, skills, and lessons, such as music or languages. 


Rather, take stock of your child’s mental wellness right now.
They may very well need the opposite approach for these coming
summer months.


Connectivity is key for children. Create a game plan with your
family and discuss what levels of exposure with other’s you’re
comfortable with. Plan for events where kids can see their peers
while recognizing public health advisories. This may also be a
time to relax rules with technology regarding Facetimes,
messaging, and other apps that allow kids to stay connected and
social with each other from afar.


 


Pitfall #2: Don’t treat lock-down, especially during school
months, as an extended summer vacation


It’s very possible that this spring was not simply a one-off, as
it’s becoming more apparent that this situation may not be over
anytime soon. Many parents are relaxing their rules and treating
this time as an extended summer vacation, such as: ultra-late
bedtimes, sleeping past lunchtime, unlimited time on technology,
loosening the reins on any kind of real structured day.


The primary way to address this as a family is to generate a
weekly schedule by collaborating with your kids, which allows you
to roll out your week ahead and have some structure. Get creative
with ways that your kids can invest their time this summer. With
kids experiencing an abundance of anxiety and depression, they
may not generate these ideas organically and by themselves, and
may default to phone time, bedroom time, or isolation. Therefore,
it’s important that parents advocate, encourage and brainstorm
with their kids.


Pitfall #3: Don’t forget to be intentional and check in with
your child; simply being at home isn't enough


Most kids communicate their feelings through behavior over words.
Signs that your kid is experiencing anxiety, depression,
loneliness, or lack of stimulation may be expressed as agitation,
physical aggression, sourness in behavior, or mood swings. 


To combat this: make sure that you are regularly checking in with
your child. Give it the time, listen to their thoughts, get a
pulse for where they are and how they’re feeling. Oftentimes, if
parents initiate the conversation, and even open up about their
own concerns and vulnerabilities, they can create momentum and
children will follow suit. Don’t wait for your kids to initiate
these conversations- they may be uncertain about how they feel,
and initiating mental dialogue may not be in their behavioral or
emotional repertoire. 


Divorced parents who are struggling with co-parenting during
unusual and difficult schedules, research collaborate problem
solving. This is an approach and a tool to help develop effective
communication and problem solving skill for the well-being of
children.