111. Experiencing Loss and Grief

Grief can be complex for all of us.


Everyone responds to grief differently. Some may be angry, some
may be sad, others may withdraw and some might seem totally
unaffected. For our kids with autism, there could be a variety of
emotional, behavioral, or physical reactions to grief. There
might also be a delayed response because of their processing
delays so their reactions are delayed or they may have either a
more or less intense response.


When you have expectations of how your child or children should
act or react and they don’t do it in the way you expected, you
create your own feelings of sadness or disappointment, right?
What if you just believe that they will grieve in their own way
and you pay extra attention to the coming days to see if they
might be somehow internalizing their grief and experiencing it
differently than you do?


If they want to talk, talk with them. If they want to cry,
acknowledge that their feelings of sadness are normal.


Most of our children will be resistant to questions about how
they feel and I think a lot of that is because emotions are hard
to understand, even for neurotypical people.


I think that any of us, including our children, while we know
about death, we aren’t prepared for the intensity of grief when
death takes someone from us, even if that is our animals.


Keep your discussions consistent with their level of development
and what they will understand. Let them know that you are there
to answer their questions if they have any, and be patient, there
is no timeline for grief, no matter how big or small.


Keep their routines as normal as possible, we know that
predictability goes a long way to help our kiddos feel safe and
secure.


Loss and death and grief are difficult subjects to discuss and
even more so with our kids who already struggle with talking
about how they feel.


If you want to learn strategies and tools that you can use to
improve your life along this autism parenting journey, becoming
Not Your Average Autism Mom is your answer.
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you?  Our member portal has an array of training and
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Additional Resources:


Episode 45. Strategies for Talking about Tragedy and Death