The Crow (2024) Movie Review

It's been a while between drinks (Madame Web I think) but we're
back and firing with a BIG FAT ZERO out of ten for this well
loved and warmly received remake of the overrated but hugely
influential original. Here, FKA Twigs (with apparently BOTOX in
both her face AND emotions), plays a talentless aspiring
musician, with model looks, who hangs around in rich people's
apartments >cough< whilst Machine Gun Kelly falls in love
with her. If you can imagine how insufferable spending time with
these two is, as they discuss their moon tattoos, you can imagine
the awful first 40 minutes of The Crow being some of the hardest
cinema I have watched this side of Salo or Come and See.