Part 2: What Sexual Addiction Recovery Actually Looks Like | An Interview with Steven Croshaw and Chris Raleigh

This is PART 2 of a 2-part podcast conversation. Listen to PART 1
Steven Croshaw is the co-founder and President of SA Lifeline
Foundation, a non-profit foundation dedicated to providing hope,
education and resources related to sexual addiction and betrayal
trauma recovery. He was instrumental in the production of
Understanding Pornography and Sexual Addiction: A Resource for
Families, Religious, and Community Leaders. Steven is a commercial
real estate developer. He has been married to Rhyll Anne Croshaw
for 49 years and they are the parents of seven children and 27
grandchildren. They are grateful to be working recovery one day at
a time. Chris Raleigh grew up in Cottonwood Heights, Utah, and
served in the Pennsylvania, Philadelphia Mission. He has a
bachelor’s degree in business, a master’s degree in education, and
has taught for 28 years in both public and private school
settings—including 23 years as a seminary and institute instructor.
Chris' church assignments have included callings in the elders
quorum, Sunday School, high council, bishopric, and as a bishop and
stake president. In his current assignment he serves with his wife,
Peggy, on the Church’s Corrections Committee, ministering to both
Church leaders and inmates in six county jails and the Central Utah
Correctional Facility in Gunnison, Utah. Chris and Peggy have nine
children and 14 grandchildren. Chris' desire in sharing his story
is to lend hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ to the many
men and women who feel trapped within the grasp of the illness
called addiction. Trying to reverse four generations of addiction
within his family has not been easy but he knows it is possible.
Steven Croshaw Chris Raleigh Highlights 0:15 Can church leaders do
anything to help people be completely honest and change? 1:45 What
happens when you are radically honest? 2:40 We can’t always
understand God’s timing for things or why we have to go through
them again and again 5:00 Leaders have to surrender too. Surrender
those they are trying to help to God. You can’t mess with other
people’s agency. 8:00 We can talk about recovery but they won’t
know it and understand it till they go through it. Steven explains
the steps and what he had to be willing to do to recover. 10:00
It’s necessary to find a safe place to be radically honest 12:00
Practicing honesty brings us closer to Christ. Addiction cannot
survive the light of Christ. Without honesty you can’t get there.
15:30 Is disclosure to a bishop the best first step to recovery?
18:30 Instead of trying to decide if it’s an addiction or not, just
treat it as such Create boundaries and bottom lines Be honest about
all behavior Receive the help you need 21:00 Many people have an
aversion to the word addiction. Call it what you want but it's a
biochemical brain condition. It has a chemical hook. 23:30 Watching
pornography first brings euphoria but is followed by feelings of
shame and anger towards yourself 24:00 Whether you are a periodic
user or a daily user it creates a feeling of unworthiness before
God, unworthiness of the love from others, and self hatred 24:45
Sexual addiction deosn’t just want more it wants different.
Pornography gets deeper and darker. There is a change in brain
chemistry. 28:00 A lot of times bishops give advice based on their
own experience however they need to keep in mind all the past
history and possible family issues of the person they are trying to
help 29:00 Pornography is not my problem. Pornography is my
solution. So what is my real problem? 30:40 Recovery is being
humble, honest, and accountable 31:30 What does it mean to
surrender? 34:20 I have to set boundaries to stay safe 36:00 It has
less to do with pornography and more to do with the emotions and
feeling that we have. It’s very important to deal and process those
emotions. For many the solution to avoiding these feeling and
getting relief is pornography. 39:00 When it comes to confession
there needs to be consequ...