Former Bishop, Recovering Addict | An Interview with Evan Hathaway

Evan Hathaway owns the Time To Smile Dental practice in Eagle,
Idaho, just outside of Boise, specializing in cosmetic and sedation
dentistry. He particularly loves serving those needing
reconstruction from fear-based dental neglect. Evan grew up in
southeastern Idaho and attended Rick’s College and Brigham Young
University. He earned his doctorate degree in Dental Surgery at
Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia, and a
general practice residency in Northern California prior to settling
in the Boise area. Evan served a mission to Leeds, England, and has
served in an elders quorum presidency, a bishopric, as a Young Men
president, high counselor, YSA bishop, and high priest group
leader. He is currently serving as the elders quorum instructor and
as a senior service missionary for the Addiction Recovery Program.
Evan loves art and creating, reading and learning with his wife of
39 years, Missy, and enjoys weight lifting to stay fit, but his
greatest passion is his family and serving and ministering to those
recovering from addictions. Evan and Missy have four children and
13 grandchildren. Highlights 02:00 Evan introduces himself and his
story. 06:00 Evan’s mindset was, it’s up to me and all I have to do
is work hard to overcome this. He wasn’t surrendering to God. 07:20
Addiction started for Evan when he got addicted to painkillers
after shoulder surgery. He had a lot of other addictions in his
life that he wasn’t even aware of. 09:30 Evan talks about his early
addiction to pornography and other things he did to cope. Extreme
exercise was one of the ways of trying to stay away from
pornography. 12:30 Evan goes more into his addiction of painkillers
and his state of denial. 14:00 Overcoming addiction is not about
having more willpower. It’s about humility and getting help from
God. 15:40 Evan describes the nuclear bomb that went off in his
life. He got caught in his addiction, went to a 90-day rehab,
almost got his license taken away, and was faced with possible jail
time. 20:45 Going to the rehab center and overcoming shame and fear
24:10 “I had to be force-fed vulnerability.” Evan was forced to be
humble and truly learn to be honest and vulnerable. 25:45 Evan’s
advice to leaders when it comes to letting people share their
stories Don’t add to shame culture because you feel uncomfortable
talking about certain topics Shame culture shackles healing 31:15
What can leaders do to help with addictions? As leaders we need to
be the catalyst of de-shaming. 34:00 Evan illustrates the
difference between having a perfectionist attitude and hiding your
sins vs being honest, open, and vulnerable. 36:00 As a Bishop are
you sending a shame message or a redemption message? 36:15 In
today’s world we can’t teach obedience more than we teach
redemption and healing. 37:00 Invite someone like Evan to your
fifth Sunday to share their story of redemption. 39:00 Let’s stop
categorizing sin. All sin keeps us from God. 42:00 Telling stories.
We can connect to stories and we can feel the Spirit through honest
stories. 44:20 Create a space where it’s ok to admit to the things
we’ve done wrong. 47:00 Evan talks about the things that his wife
has had to do in order to support Evan and take care of her own
mental health. She went through a program called Al-Anon. 48:40
Evan is dedicated to going to 12-step meetings for the rest of his
life. This helps him not relapse and keeps him engaged. 52:00 Step
twelve is to share the message. Keep helping others. 52:40 What
Evan’s recovery looks like today and where he’s at in his dentistry
career. 54:30 Recovery as a family. Reconnecting with his wife
through recovery and regaining emotional intimacy. 1:01:10 Evan’s
wife’s journey to healing and dealing with betrayal trauma. 1:04:45
Evan’s final thoughts to church leaders trying to help people with
addiction Links Al-Anon