Can God Be Disappointed in You? | A Presentation by Kurt Francom

This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in September
2019. In this episode, Leading Saints Executive Director Kurt
Francom, shares his closing session from the Liberating Saints
Virtual Summit. He approaches the subject of supporting and
mentoring someone through a difficult struggle with pornography,
from a doctrinal standpoint. This concept eventually became Kurt’s
book, Is God Disappointed In Me? Links Is God Disappointed In Me?
“The Atonement Works for Me”: One Couple’s Recovery from Sexual
Addiction Brené Brown TED talk: Listening to Shame James' story on
the Unashamed, Unafraid podcast The Heart of Man movie clip The
Heart of Man movie Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast Get 14-day
access to the Core Leader Library Highlights 3:00 Approaching the
topic from a doctrinal standpoint 4:20 Behaviors vs doctrine/heart
5:15 “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve
behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.
Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior.
That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of
the gospel.“—Elder Boyd K. Packer 6:40 Change the heart, leading to
a change in behavior 8:00 How Satan tempts us, catching us in our
own traps by creating contention in our hearts (Doctrine &
Covenants 10:12, 10:26, 10:63) 11:10 Satan’s attack on our identity
causes contention (Moses 4:11, Matthew 4:3) 14:00 Setting our own
trap (example from The Lion King) 17:15 Steve’s story of overcoming
addiction 19:40 Satan uses shame to alter identity “As a shame
researcher, I've learned that wherever perfectionism is driving us,
shame is riding shotgun.”—Brene Brown 22:20 “What does that say
about you as a person?”—Sam Tielemans 23:15 The adversary’s work
and glory is to destroy the agency of man. Shame leads to altered
identity which leads to a lack of agency. 24:55 “I am an addict”
“No one wants to be defined by their hardest struggle, and so we
have to find this really interesting space between owning it and
identifying it but reject being labeled by it and reduced by
it.”—Brene Brown 27:00 Does this reduce or expand the individual’s
identity? 29:50 Examples of Tom and Tim in the bishop’s office
33:10 A change of heart leads to good behavior Offer hope Explore
doctrines (especially mercy and grace) Admit you can’t “fix” them
Define the purpose of the behaviors (CPR: church, prayer, read
scriptures) Turn them towards their Father Overwhelm them with
connection 44:20 Story of James 47:45 Disappointment: another
tactic of the adversary The principal’s office, the dentist’s
office, and the bishop’s office 51:10 Contention created when we
believe God is disappointed in us 52:30 Can God be disappointed?
Can God be surprised? Doctrine & Covenants 3:1-3 Doctrine &
Covenants 10:67 “Repentance isn’t His backup plan in the event we
might fail. Repentance is His plan, knowing that we will.”—Elder
Lynn G. Robbins 57:10 Example of learning to walk and falling down
“This shepherd, our Good Shepherd, finds joy in seeing His diseased
sheep progress toward healing.”—Elder Dale G. Renlund “A car is
made to run on gasoline, and it would not run properly on anything
else. Now God designed the human machine to run on himself. He
himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food
our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other.”—C.S.
Lewis 1:01:15 Kurt’s scripture study shame cycle example: “You
could _______ and I’d still love you.” 1:05:45 “The Christian does
not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will
make us good because He loves us.”—C.S. Lewis 1:06:20 John 14:16
1:07:50 The Heart of Man movie clip: Think of the violin as
commandments and covenants 1:10:10 If ye love me, hold on to my
commandments Abraham 3:26, Doctrine & Covenants 78:18 Alma
33:16 Romans 8:38-39