Instructing and Edifying Each Other in Meetings | An Interview with DeAnna Murphy

This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in March 2020.
DeAnna Murphy is a former stake Relief Society president in
Minneapolis, Minnesota, and the Chief People and Culture Officer
for Thrivin, with a twenty-seven-year international career as an
organizational psychologist, expert learning and development
practitioner, and executive coach. She is also an
internationally-known keynote speaker, Top 100 Global Coaching
Leader, and author. DeAnna has shared her expertise and inspiration
in many Leading Saints articles, podcasts, and events. Her personal
time is joyfully spent loving and lifting her family and friends,
and helping each person she meets to recognize how valuable and
important they are. Links Shift Up! Strengths Strategies for
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Highlights 0:00:03 Introduction of DeAnna Murphy 0:00:48 Her
deepest desire has just been to be a great mom; her best leadership
training has come in that arena. Professionally, she’s an executive
leadership coach. 0:03:44 Great leaders don’t just ask “what we are
trying to accomplish?”, but also, “what is important about it?”
0:04:07 When we start a meeting establishing the purpose of the
meeting, it creates power. 0:04:20 Beginning a 13-14 Sunday School
class by establishing the purpose 0:05:43 “Of all the things you’re
trying to accomplish with this summit, what’s the most important
thing you’d hope they’d learn and they’re longing to hear?” 0:06:00
(Kurt) Hope people walk away with a deeper ability and motivation
to run a meeting 0:06:50 We meet to unify. We meet to connect. We
meet to multiply our resources together. D&C 43:8-9 – When we
meet, we should instruct and edify one another 0:08:08 To “instruct
and edify together” implies that each participant holds a piece –
no one person holds all the pieces 0:11:06 Each person in a council
has a unique strength and a unique perspective. 0:13:23 DeAnna’s
experience with a leader having a diametrically opposed viewpoint –
she might have a difficult time understanding his perspective. She
sometimes had a difficult time communicating with him. It helped
them to understand how the other viewed situations. 0:15:29
Feelings of self-consciousness, uncertainty, and fear led to
defensiveness. Granting herself grace allowed her to grant others
grace, and remove the defensiveness. 0:16:05 Citing Ether 12:27
(weakness that they may be humble); DeAnna focuses on Ether 12:37
(because you see your weakness, you’ll be made strong) 0:16:35
DeAnna’s weaknesses were not made strong by becoming like her Stake
President. Instead, they learned from each other, they became
stronger in each other, and were unified in the Savior. 0:19:00
Identify what is important about the meeting 0:19:18 Identify “how”
we will be together: (1) There’s always room for the Savior (2)
Recognize we see things differently 0:20:30 Three or four questions
always help to create clarity: (1) “What are you noticing…” or “I’m
noticing…” (2) “What’s important about that?” (3) “What does it
mean?” (4) “Now what do we do about it” (“Why?When?How?”) 0:22:58
What do you do when you’re in a meeting and you realize that you’re
not tracking what is being said? Many remain silent. 0:24:00
Feeling confusion in a meeting may be a spiritual prompting that
others are confused. Consider that speaking up will likely help
others in the room, not just yourself. 0:24:35 Going into meetings,
agree about how we are going to “be” together. Set up ground rules
for how we will conduct the meetings and participate. 0:26:17
Google experiment: The number one thing contributing to
high-performing teams – cohesive and agile – was psychological
safety. 0:27:17 There’s nothing more intimidating that being one of
three women in a room with 15 men in their suits.