003: Getting Through Freezy Sessions

Play Episode 3 Here How do you get through sessions with people
experiencing "freezy business"? That is, as a practitioner what do
you do with your attention to not succumb to the freeze or
interrupt it unnecessarily. Here are some tips. We have two things
to consider here: Some people are dominated by freeze/immobility
states which requires an SE practitioner to join with a slower
pacing.During the renegotiation process of completing
freeze/immobility practitioners can get "taken" into that state and
have a difficult time keeping "awake and aware." What do to then?
For now let's put aside questions like: When do you allow freeze?
[check out the Needs for Successful Renegotiation of Freeze post
]How do you facilitate freeze when it's the right thing to do?How
do you avoid it when the timing isn't right yet? In this podcast I
look at various things a practitioner can do to keep their
attention from becoming too frustrated, distant or intrusive with
when working with freeze/immobility states. These suggestions
include: Giving some part of your body the option of being agitated
while differentiating this from the rest of you that is
communicating with your client. (i.e. Please don't let your
agitation leak into your session).Letting yourself be "taken by the
freeze" in small doses that are then intentionally interrupted by
occasional re-orientation. (i.e. Letting yourself get foggy and
then looking around again, letting yourself get foggy and then
looking around again, and so on).Counting your client's pacing and
making a silent counting in your own mind before making your
responses so you match their pace. (i.e. You notice that you talk
faster than them. Count how long it takes them to respond and then
insert that same amount of time into your pauses before you
respond).Imagining or "seeing" the conversation or investigation
moving between you and your client like a slow motion ping pong
ball. (i.e. Trying to make sure you don't "slam" your client but
instead return the volley in nice easy strokes). [That should
probably be "table tennis."]Lengthening your form of speech or
'stretching your words out like taffy." (i.e. "Yooo'u knooowwwww,
li-ke talkinnnggg nnnn looong forrrmmmmm.")Creating a verbal
contract that puts you on record as generally talking faster than
your clients and making a committment to talk more at their pace.
(i.e. "I just noticed that I'm talking faster than you and it
occurred to me that it might be helpful to you if I make an
explicit effort to talk a little slower so you have time to collect
your thoughts.") For now I leave out here the discussion of what to
do if you're on the opposite side of this spectrum and generally
talk much slower than your clients. That's a different question and
one I'll have to take up some other time.