084: Milton’s List

Play Episode 84 Here When we're stressed we think less. That's true
for everyone but it's an especially vexing fact for our distressed
clients – many of whom desperately need to make more helpful and
healthful decisions on behalf of their well-being. Milton
Erickson, the famous psychiatrist and hypnotherapist, knew this
too. That's why he maintained a list to reference when his body
got racked by pain due to his history with polio. I often tell
clients about Milton's list (and my own) and why it may be a good
idea for them to create something similar for times when they're
"freaking." Episode Mentions: Milton Ericsson -
WikipediaMilton H. Erickson M.D.: An American Healer - Amazon
- non-affiliated linkKathy Kain - Somatic Experiencing
FacultyStephen Gilligan - Trance Camp When I'm introducing
this idea of "Milton's List" to clients I'm first trying to get it
across that: We think less when we're stressed so it's a good idea
to have an aid to help us re-direct our attention toward more
helpful ends.Other people have needed similar lists and have been
willing to use them (such as Milton Erickson and Twig).Repetitive
distress is rarely productive and usually deliterious. Working on
our behalf to minimize it's consequences is a smart thing to
do.Each of us has a pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors
that we do when we're "freaking out." Our goal is to name some of
those steps so that when we see them coming we can turn our
attention toward the list.No single aide or activity is going to be
the answer every time. When I'm helping clients create their list I
try to: Find resources or activities they've already discovered on
their own that they know are helpful in calming things down. As in
Kathy Kain's question: "When these things have happened before,
what have you found that helps the most?"Help them think creatively
about about other "resources" they have in their lives that they
could lean on to help them minimize their repetitive
activation.Increase the amount of social contact or "outside of me"
attention that can be engaged.Encourage the use of somatic and
physiologically informed activities that can be anticipated to help
calm things down such as: * Orientation – Engage the world around
you rather than reference "in you" too much.  * Simulated
Pendulation – Probably in the 3x3 pattern of "Naming 3 things you
can see around you, name 3 things you can feel inside, name 3 other
things you can see." Repeat. * The Hook – Brain Gym move where you
tangle your hands, arms and legs across the midline of the body and
press the tongue to the roof of the mouth. * Sometimes breathing
excercises, though rarely do I include this. * Grounding excercises
in rounds – Like standing in a doorway with the outside of the
feet and hands pressing out to the doorjam. * Squeezing things in
rounds – Like plastic water bottles or towels. * Ripping up
Newspaper in rounds – The sound is so so satisfying. * And so on...
Setting up easy access to this list can be necessary:
Sometimes just talking about the idea of such a list is enough to
give people something to lean on rather than focus all their
attention on recurring anguish.Other times it's enough to actually
make a list on a single piece of paper.For some, making copies of
the list and posting it around the house, in the car and at the
office is a better idea.The homescreen of a smartphone can be
another handy place to have this list available for quick review.