Why Resolutions Fail with Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps

We often put off changes and schedule them to start on January
1st. Many of these idealistic resolutions fail shortly after
beginning, so it is important to be thoughtful when planning so
that you can set yourself up for success.


Today’s guest is Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps. Leslie is a noted
psychologist who authored a number of books, including Insecure
in Love, The Insecure in Love Workbook, and Bouncing Back from
Rejection. She writes the Authentically You Blog and the
Psychology Today Making Change Blog. Additionally, she is a
national speaker and hosts a YouTube channel.
Show Notes:

[1:00] - Leslie describes what she does in her career as a
psychologist and author.

[2:32] - Throughout her work, Leslie continued to go back to
the question, “What makes it so hard for some people to change?”

[5:47] - There’s nothing wrong with New Year's Resolutions.
But waiting to start making a change till a specific day is not
effective.

[7:02] - You can feel good about yourself and recognize that
change is good to move towards.

[8:23] - When people are insecurely attached, they have a
negative sense of self. What is driving them forward is
negativity.

[9:58] - It takes a lot of work to be able to be
compassionate with yourself.

[11:49] - Leslie discusses some small changes she made for
herself that allowed her to be consistent.

[15:04] - Leslie explains the Michelangelo Effect.

[17:47] - Relationships you are in have an impact on your
self-esteem.

[19:02] - Just because it feels true, doesn’t mean it is
true.

[20:17] - Adding in the word “yet” gives us an idea of a
future that will be different.

[21:24] - Setbacks will happen, but they are not failures.

[24:18] - You have to be persistent in making changes you
want to make.

[26:47] - If you can’t seem to make a change, you have to get
into the micro parts of yourself and find out why.

[28:32] - Leslie suggests making different levels of goals.

[30:15] - Prepare yourself for good days and bad days. How
can you support yourself on a down day?

[33:10] - When you are having really good days, you can
clearly remember the days you struggle. Write a letter to your
future self on a down day.



Thanks for joining us on Easy Prey. Be sure to subscribe to
our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. 
Links and Resources:

Podcast Web Page

Facebook Page

whatismyipaddress.com

Easy Prey on Instagram

Easy Prey on Twitter

Easy Prey on LinkedIn

Easy Prey on YouTube

Easy Prey on Pinterest

Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps Website

Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps on YouTube