Codependency & The Masculine Wound

Codependency


I never understood this word, until I started studying it


This was after I suffered with alcohol dependency....but then I
realized alcohol was NOT was causing my codependency


It was my masculine wound


I shut myself down at a very very young age due to trauma


Always choosing to be the "good girl"


Getting good grades


Following rules galore


Not making waves (most of the time, ok so I am a real rebel at
heart lol)


As I grew up and many of those dependencies of good grades,
following rules now shifted to adult responsibilities - I threw
myself into people pleasing, over giving, starting to get
addicted to overwhelm, being ALL things to all people....


Fear of rejection in sales led to people pleasing and over giving
to clients and mentors and coaches....


Then in marriage, I wanted to be the "hero" or fell prey to the
"Savior complex" because I thought as a mom and wife that is what
you did!


Before I knew it, I had difficulty making decisions


I started feeling compelled to control others and situations


Did things I did NOT want to do to keep the peace (which did
include over working and over drinking)


Was addicted to "drama" and overwhelm in my business associations
and dealings (there was never a loss for that, because I helped
create it!)


It was all a big mirror


The Universe kept bringing more and more people and
things/events, etc., to send me a huge fat memo


I was an over giving codependent people pleasing person


I think i could have won a grammy or academy award


And I hated myself for it


I was miserable I was also 40 lbs overweight as a result


One day I woke up and looked in the mirror at my puffy face/eyes
and body, slightly hungover (again) and said, "Who the hell are
you and how did we get here?"


Signs of codependency include:


    Difficulty making decisions in a relationship.
    Difficulty identifying your feelings.    
Difficulty communicating in a relationship.     Valuing
the approval of others more than valuing yourself.    
Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem.


AND THEN SOME!


Once I got to the root cause of my codependency (masculine wound
was #1 cause), I could feel that pain and start to heal it


Start to unpack it


And I didn't do it alone


TUNE IN TOMORROW AT 9:30 A.M. PST where I will unpack more of
this masculine wound in class


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