Episode 59 - Jurassic World

"Your [filmmakers] were so preoccupied with whether they could,
they didn't stop to think if they should." –Dr. Ian Malcolm


The fourth installment of the "Jurassic Park" franchise from
2015, "Jurassic World," is yet another mediocre sequel to the
original 1993 masterpiece. The story is unoriginal, the
characters are annoying cartoons and the special effects aren't
even as realistic as the first one, despite 22 years of CGI
advancement.


Chris Pratt plays Owen Grady, a former Navy dude who now trains
attack Velociraptors for a super shady Blackwater-esque
organization, but somehow he is shocked that his employers have
plans to use the raptors for exactly what he trained them to do.


Bryce Dallas Howard plays Claire Dearing, the Jurassic World
Operations Manager who somehow directly oversees every single
aspect of how the park runs, including genetic development and
security, but after disaster strikes, we find out that she has
virtually no knowledge of many of her areas of responsibility.


Vincent D'Onofrio plays Vic Hoskins, a stereotypical militaristic
bad guy character who brazenly uses Claire's accidental
unleashing of a genetically-engineered super raptor in order to
field test Chris Pratt’s raptors.


B.D. Wong plays Dr. Henry Wu, a geneticist who worked at the
original Jurassic Park and is now inexplicably a villain bent on
creating murderous super dinos FOR NO REASON.


Irrfan Khan plays Simon Masrani, a Richard Branson-esque
billionaire playboy who took over the dinosaur park business
after John Hammond's death.


Jake Johnson and Lauren Lapkus play grating employees in the
park's control room who make viewers of the film want to claw
their own eyes out and deafen themselves.


Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins play the Mitchell boys, two moron
kids who repeatedly disobey Jurassic World's rules and land
themselves in extreme danger. As far as we're concerned, these
two should have been left to die for their misdeeds. 


Judy Greer plays mama Mitchell, an emotional wreck who ships her
kids off to Jurassic World under the supervision of her estranged
sister while she secretly divorces her uber douchey
husband. 


Join us as we discuss the best prison wines, which movies starred
Bryce Dallas Howard or Jessica Chastain, and why we hate the
Margaritaville restaurant chain. 


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shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.


This episode is sponsored by Phase Out Buddy.


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