Episode 95 - Love, Simon

Dear Blue,


I'm just like you. I'm a multimillionaire cool guy stud-muffin,
with two still-married, supportive supermodel parents who are
extremely liberal and accepting of gay people. I just don’t know
how I’m ever going to come out. There are too many road blocks in
front of me.


Also, all my friends are totally fine with people being gay, but
I still don’t think it's going to be okay. Also, Blue, I have
thought you were approximately 10 different guys in my high
school and I fell in love with each of them instantly, because
apparently all it takes for a gay person to fall in love is
meeting another gay person, unless their name is Ethan—then, ew,
gross.


Love, Jaques (I’m writing this in 2018, not 1918, believe it or
not) 


P.S. I'm currently being blackmailed for no reason, but when my
friends eventually find out, they will they will not take this
into consideration.


P.P.S. Also, I’m going to force you to come out publicly in front
of the whole school or else you don't love me and therefore are
also intolerant, so you better get on that Ferris wheel—or else.


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This episode is sponsored by the International Sweatshop
Association.


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