Why is the English Language so hard?

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Why is English hard?


Contranyms – words that have two opposite meanings


Transparent: can mean invisible or obvious ("I bumped into the
back wall which was completely transparent,") or ("It is
transparent to me that you are a liar and a rogue").



Rules are inconsistent


"I before e, except after c"


Though not in 'neighbour' or 'weigh'



Homophones


Homophones are words which sound the same but are spelt
differently.


mussels – a small shellfish with a soft body inside a hard black
or green shell, often cooked and eaten as food;



Homographs


Homographs are words which spelt the same but mean something


Present (present a present in the present)


Bat – bat ball, bat mammal


Cool – fashionable, hip; moderately cold


Invalid – not valid; invalid


Close – the door; stand back, dude


produce (a farmer produces produce)


dove bird and past tense dive



Homonyms


palm (the palm of your hand; a palm tree)


letter (a symbol in an alphabet; a written message to someone)


ruler (for measuring lengths; a king or queen)



Idioms


Idioms are phrases which have a common understanding, but which
in itself doesn't impart its meaning.


Shoot the breeze: to talk about unimportant things


Piece of cake: something that is easy or straightforward


Donkey's years: a long time 


Chew the fat: to gossip or make small talk


Go pear-shaped: indicates that something has gone wrong



Illogical words


Let's face it, some words just don't make any sense:


Eggplant: there aren't any eggs in an eggplant


Hamburger: hamburgers don't have any ham


Guinea pig: guinea pigs aren't from the country of Guinea, nor
are they pigs!


Sweetmeats: are sweets, but sweetbreads aren't sweet and are
meat!


Incommunicado: means you are NOT communicating!



Misnomers


Closely allied to illogical words are misnomers, misnamed people,
places or things:


Arabic numerals: originated in India.


Tin cans and tin foil: are constructed from aluminium, not tin.


Danish pastries: were invented in Austria.


Dry cleaning: uses a fluid called naphtha.


Koala bears: are marsupials, not bears.


Panama hats: originate from Ecuador, not Panama.


The Peanut: is a legume, [i.e., fruit/vegetable] not a nut.



Irrational collective nouns


Collective nouns, apparently, are made up by strange people with
a warped sense of humour. Like idioms, either you know a
collective or you don't; it is impossible to work out the
collective noun for anything.


A glaring of cats


An entrance of actresses


An unhappiness of husbands


A Sodom of shepherds


One goose, two geese. One moose, two…? Moose.


A flock of geese (when the geese are flying)


A gaggle of geese (when the geese are on the ground)



Bonus: words to show off with


Exegete: one who explains or interprets difficult parts of
written works.


Sine qua non: an indispensable thing.


Sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables.


Paraprosdokian: an unexpected shift in meaning at the end of a
sentence or paragraph (also called the surprise ending). It is
often used for comic effect. [For example: "Please, make yourself
at home. Clean my kitchen.")


Defenestrate: to throw someone or something out of a window.


 


 





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