Episode 301: Why people don’t like it when you’re nice to them

Why is it that your best efforts are often repaid with
indifference, rejection, and contempt? This is a complicated
phenomenon, but we can view one possible explanation through the
lens of the balance of attraction. In turns out that people have
preferences with respect both to the position they would rather
occupy, and to the size of the gap they would like to experience.
Being nice to others puts the other in the place of the adored
and increases the gap of attraction. Negativity in response to
this behavior is an attempt to recalibrate the gap back to
acceptable limits.


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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers
with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a
variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical
practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within
each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves
or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate
mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary
suffering in the world.


#attraction #relationship #dating