Relationship Pain with Brian Holian

Relationship Pain. Ever been excommunicated? I mean, kicked out
of a church kind of excommunicated? Sounds like we are talking
about the Middle Ages, doesn’t it? Does that really happen
anymore? I mean, there are churches for every species of thought
under heaven. One church I visited had a blessing Sunday for
pets. Choose your sexual preference, a god off the menu,
liturgical stripe you prefer, and you can find a church that
fits. Why would anyone get excommunicated when one can just walk
down the street to open arms of people equally indignant at the
idea, to begin with?


It doesn’t take a whole lot of self-reflection to realize we
excommunicate people from our lives all the time. The word comes
from the Latin “excommunicare,” which means to put outside of the
community. We can put it more simply by staying in English and
just looking at ex and communication. I bet you have a bunch of
people in your life who would fit into that category: “I am not
going to communicate with you anymore.” You have done something
so offensive, so repulsive, so defiling to my standards, I no
longer will have you in my life.


This gets particularly difficult when it happens in the most
intimate relationships, particularly the family. 


When I was a young pastor, already starting my second church, and
had a second child on the way, I had a very unique friend. In his
beginning years of fatherhood, he happened to be a nuclear power
engineer and personified what any pastor would like to have in
the church. He was the greeter from heaven, making everyone who
dared walk through the doors feel special, and welcomed. Come
back again, and he would remember your name, ask about your week
and point you to the coffee before the service.


When the lights went off at church, we would find our way to his
small starter home, where the ping pong table was my immediate
destination. Laughter began, and extended volleys were
interspersed with deep theological questions and a passion for
unbelievers throughout the world. In so many ways, everything
just seemed perfect. Let’s see…


Welcome, Brian Holian to Church Hurts And.