SOS Coming Home with Jennifer Elizabeth Masters Diamonds, Dating
Patterns, and the Chocolate Chip Cookie Story with Suman Smith
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters talks with jeweler and author Suman
Smith about the fears and patterns hiding behind decades of dating
stories, from a chocolate chip cookie crush and a banned Hinge
profile to the sign that told her she had finally found her
husband. Introducing Suman Smith and Her Story Jennifer Elizabeth
Masters opens this episode of SOS Coming Home by introducing
herself as a hypnotherapist, coach, and author of Odyssey: Victim
to Victory, Orgasm for Life, and Sacred Relationships, telling
listeners she has spent nearly three decades helping women stop
abandoning themselves. She frames the hour as SOS for the Soul and
introduces her guest, Suman Smith, a custom jeweler, author, and
founder of Luxe Jewels who has spent twenty years listening to what
people really talk about when buying diamonds. Masters notes that
Smith married for the very first time at fifty-four, after
navigating loss, menopause, and a move away from everything
familiar, and that she wrote a book called Stop Cockblocking Your
Dating Life and created the first independent buyer's side diamond
consultation. Masters admits reading Smith's book felt like hearing
her own story, and welcomes her warmly to the show before turning
to the material underneath it. The Oprah Show and Early Choices
Masters asks Suman Smith how she ended up on the Oprah Show at
twenty-four, a credential not everyone can claim. Smith explains
she wrote a letter responding to an episode about interracial
relationships, focused on the broader idea of choosing who to love
regardless of culture, since she is Canadian and the conversation
felt distant from her own life. She says she actually declined the
first invitation because the producers wanted to frame the segment
strictly around relationships between African-American and white
people, which was not the conversation she wanted to have. Masters
pivots to the chemistry trap Smith writes about, the initial spark,
the chase, the mystery that keeps the mind racing. Smith describes
it as excitement and charisma that depends entirely on how it shows
up, noting that women who say they want a nice guy often find
themselves pulled toward what feels familiar instead, shaped by
childhood fairy tales and the romantic images society sells long
before real relationships begin. The Chocolate Chip Cookie Story
and Fear Masters brings up the chocolate chip cookie story from
Smith's twenties, when she baked cookies from scratch hoping a man
she liked would notice her and make the first move. Nothing was
ever said between them, and Smith traces the silence back to fear
rooted in discrimination she faced growing up, which left her
believing she was not attractive enough and not enough, period, to
be chosen. She recalls deciding early on that if a man asked her
out, she would finally feel worthy, rather than ever saying plainly
that she liked someone first. Masters names what is underneath that
pattern, looking outside herself for the love she was not giving
herself. Smith agrees, adding that most people carry this blind
spot regardless of age unless they take responsibility for their
own patterns instead of blaming others. She shares a lighter story
from high school, a black eye from a softball accident that nobody
believed until she invented a dramatic lie, proof that people
prefer sensational stories over plain truth. Lies We Tell
Ourselves, Ghosting, and Vulnerability The conversation turns to
the lies people tell themselves, am I not good enough, not smart
enough, not pretty enough, which Smith says still surface in her
mind but no longer run unquestioned. She describes being ghosted
after promising early dates, then spiraling into checking social
media and nearly walking past an ex's office, until one night she
gave herself permission to feel her feelings, with a bottle of wine
and a self-imposed deadline, rather than spiral further. Masters
connects that spiral to living in the past and future instead of
the present. Smith credits the shift to not abandoning herself in
that moment. They move into vulnerability, which Smith says still
takes work even after writing a book built on sharing her own
dating stories, and into the difference between a cold heart and a
closed heart, cold being wanting connection while holding someone
at a distance out of fear, cynicism, and resignation. The Man Who
Moved Away and the Three-Date Rule Smith tells the story of a man
who once worked in Canada and moved back to the United States,
assuming she was not interested, only to return years later and
tell her he had imagined marrying her and staying in Canada. Smith
says she cried for a week, having felt the same but never saying
so, and only later told him the truth herself. Masters calls it two
people equally afraid to move first. Smith reflects that past
rejection keeps living in the present unless people feel it rather
than retell its story. She describes being labeled too picky by
friends, defending her habit of giving nice but unexciting men
several dates rather than judging on chemistry alone, citing her
own three-date rule and a run of six or seven dates with one man
before deciding he was simply not for her. Masters offers her own
rule, that a relationship feeling instantly like home can be a
warning rather than comfort, especially for people from difficult
homes. Meeting Michael and Choosing to Love Smith recounts lying
about her age on the dating app Hinge to widen her matches, getting
banned after confessing the truth to a man she liked, before
describing how she actually met her husband, Michael, her childhood
crush from grade three in Richmond, British Columbia. Reconnecting
during the pandemic, the two begin FaceTime calls they nickname
Scotch Time, and Smith eventually tells him about her old chocolate
chip cookie pattern so she can ask, instead of wait, to be asked
out. She explains love as something built with intention rather
than something people simply fall into, describing the Create the
Love card deck she used on early dates and a running shared note
called I Forking Love You Saturdays. She says the sign she was
waiting for before marrying arrived as her mother's voice telling
her he was the one. Masters closes the hour thanking Smith,
pointing listeners to her book, and reminding them to keep choosing
themselves.
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