(ENG): SHORT STORY: A Sex Doll, Some Lube, and a Lot of
Questions.
Want to watch the video? Watch it here:
https://joy.club/lisayoutube
Want to read my full experience? Read it here
(Sign-Up in JOYclub required):
https://www.joyclub.com/en/magazin/male_sex_doll_test.html
When JOYclub and Housedoll asked if I’d like to test a male sex
doll, I was already in a place of questions. About sex. About
visibility. About what midlife is supposed to feel like when you
still want things. When you want to explore, want to connect,
want to be left alone and deeply seen all at once.
I said yes. Not as a stunt. Not for shock value. But because the
idea of reclaiming pleasure without performance felt quietly
radical.
I wrote this story afterwards called Me, Myself and Apollo. It's
fiction, but it came straight from the experience. A woman,
alone, mid-hot flush, climbing on top of a silicone man with a
detachable cock and no opinions. It was awkward. It was
revealing. And in its own strange way, it was liberating.
The doll didn’t talk. He didn’t rush me. He didn’t need anything
from me. That stillness, that absence of needing to manage
someone else’s experience, created space for mine. In that space,
I noticed how much I’d been carrying. How much of my sexuality
had been shaped around other people’s expectations. And how good
it felt to stop asking for permission.
The Vanishing Woman Isn’t Vanishing At All:
Perimenopause, performance fatigue, and how sextech is changing
the story
There’s a narrative about women in midlife. That we disappear.
That our desirability drops off. That we’re either settled down,
or out of the game entirely.
It’s rubbish, obviously. But it’s also powerful. You start to
internalise it. Especially during perimenopause, when your body
shifts gears and nothing feels reliable; not your sleep, not your
moods, not your vagina. Your sense of self gets foggy. You ache
more. You want different things. Sometimes you want nothing at
all. And that, too, can feel like failure.
But here’s the thing. Midlife isn’t a vanishing act. It’s a
refocusing. A soft revolution. Women over 40 are reclaiming their
time, their pleasure, and their right to want without it needing
to be for someone else.
That’s where sextech becomes more than novelty. It becomes a tool
for agency. It’s not about replacing partners. It’s about
creating space. For exploration. For awkwardness. For self-led
pleasure without the pressure to be good at it. Or good for
anyone else.
And it’s happening. Quietly, steadily. In bedrooms and bathrooms
and private tabs. A growing number of women are using sex toys
not just to get off, but to get in. Into their bodies, their
fantasies, their own unapologetic skin.
I didn’t expect a sex doll to make me reflect on power, presence
and perimenopause. But that’s what happened.
So here’s an invitation.To listen. To watch. To read. To want
what you want. Even if it’s just a bit of peace, a vibrator on
the right setting, and a mirror that shows you back to yourself.
Prefer the transcript? Find it here.
I'm your host, Lisa Opel and I'm here to take you on a liberating
ride through the world of sex shops, clubs, toys, play and more!
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime on
Instagram or under yes@pleasepinchmehard.com
More of me on Instagram
(@pleasepinchmehard) and my
webpage
(www.pleasepinchmehard.com)
My book SEX SEX SEX - Your
Workbook for Singles & Couples:
https://bit.ly/sex-workbook
My book GIVE IT TO ME!
on Amazon (E-Book & Print) and Spotify as an
Audiobook:
https://pleasepinchmehard.com/book-audio-give-it-to-me-lisa-opel/
My book SAVED IN NOTES...
on Amazon (E-Book, Softback & Hardback):
https://amzn.eu/d/gGXCR8b
Need a one-on-one session with a Confidante? I've got
you: www.mrs-opel.com
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