Almost two years on, and this conversation goes even deeper.
Ellie Fitzgerald was the very first guest on The Cyclist, and
she's back. In this raw and honest catch-up, Jess and Ellie
revisit everything that has unfolded since Ellie shared her
ruptured ectopic pregnancy story, nearly two years ago now. What
started as a check-in becomes one of the most vulnerable
conversations we've had on this podcast.
Ellie opens up about where she and her partner are at today, a
place she describes as possibly child-free, though she's still
unpacking whether that's a decision from the heart or a response
to trauma. She talks honestly about the grief that doesn't follow
a timeline, the moments that still catch her off guard, and what
it's like to navigate those questions from family and friends
when you haven't figured out the answers yourself.
She also shares the deeply personal way she holds Binki in her
memory, something we've never heard before, and what the
approaching two-year due date brings up for her each year.
The conversation moves through therapy, which Ellie is only just
beginning, and why she's waited this long. She reflects on the
unexpected ways the ectopic pregnancy has changed her body, her
cycle, her pain, and her hormones, and gets honest about her
relationship with her body, which she describes as the hardest
it's ever been. From blaming her body through three years of
infertility, to losing Binki, to navigating weight changes and
self-worth, this is a conversation about what it really looks
like to carry grief in your body, not just your mind.
Ellie also shares why she recently made the decision to rename
her platform from Loving Ellie's Belly to simply Ellie
Fitzgerald, and what that change meant for her sense of identity.
This one is tender, funny, deeply real, and a reminder that grief
has no deadline.
Follow and connect
Instagram: @wearethecyclist
Website: wearethecyclist.com
Hit play. And if you haven't heard Ellie's first episode, start
there: Endo, Infertility & Losing Baby Binkie with Ellie
Fitzgerald.
Here’s the link on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3wy5McIgaGR4Lyb3XQvz9Q
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