There’s a third person in the room in this episode with Kat and
Jess…
Jess is pregnant! In this episode, Jess and Kat talk about baby
number two and share the full journey of how they got here.
This is the conversation Jess says she has dreamt of recording,
and it's everything. Honest, emotional, funny, and deeply real.
Jess takes us back to the beginning. After a two-year journey to
fall pregnant with Marla, a loss along the way, and a more recent
miscarriage that hit harder than she expected, Jess and Todd made
the call to take six months away from trying. She opens up about
what it's like to try for a baby when you're already living with
a panic disorder, the internal conversations around medication,
the question of whether it was irresponsible to grow a family
when she wasn't in her best space, and the fear that the panic
disorder might never fully end.
She talks candidly about going on sertraline, the two years she
resisted medication because pregnancy was on the horizon, and the
guilt of knowing the research said it was safe while still
carrying a quiet doubt in the back of her mind. The decision that
finally shifted things: realising she wasn't able to enjoy the
life she'd worked so hard to build, and that a healthy mum was
the most important thing she could give her family.
Then there's the trying-to-conceive reality, the scheduling, the
long cycles, the months of negative tests, the switch that flips
when you've had a loss and every negative brings it all back. The
moment Todd came down with man flu on what turned out to be their
last window for a 2026 baby. The password on Jess's laptop. The
morning she snuck into the bathroom to take a test she was
expecting to be negative, and wasn't.
Kat shares what it was like to watch from the outside, holding
her tongue through the hardest months because she had a feeling
it was going to happen, and not wanting to say that out loud in
case she was wrong.
They also go into the pregnancy itself, the four emergency scans,
the breakthrough bleeding that sent Jess to the hospital at eight
weeks, the anxiety of standing up slowly every single time and
checking for blood. The moment at the studio, ten minutes before
a podcast interview, when Jess came to Kat and said she was
bleeding and had to leave. And through all of it, the mindset she
kept coming back to, miscarriage is never anyone's fault, and
worrying about it won't change the outcome.
Jess is now in her second trimester, due in early December, and
not finding out the gender. Baby's working name is Pickle. Marla
has been told there's a baby in mummy's tummy and has asked
whether it's in her boobies too.
This one will stay with you.
Follow and connect
Instagram: @wearethecyclist
Website: wearethecyclist.com
Hit play. And congratulations, Jess!
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