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Finding Hope in Grief
Jesus said to his disciples: “Now I am going to the one who sent
me, and not one of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because
I told you this, grief has filled your hearts. But I tell you the
truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the
Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to
you.” John 16:5–7
Each of us experiences grief. The death of a loved one, the loss of
a job, and a serious illness are a few of many immediate causes of
grief. Jesus addresses the grief the disciples were experiencing as
they listened to Him explain that He was going to the One Who sent
Him, to the Father: “But because I told you this, grief has filled
your hearts.”
It’s easy to relate to the disciples’ grief. Imagine that you find
out that your best friend is moving to another state. You would
have a deep sense of loss upon hearing the news. This is what the
disciples were experiencing. The closeness they shared with Jesus
was profoundly consoling to them. In Him, they learned so much and
began to understand the purity and power of divine love, likely for
the first time. The news of His departure filled them with
grief.
Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are natural reactions to
perceived goods or evils. The disciples’ initial perception of
Jesus’ earthly departure was as an undesirable loss, so they felt
grief. Jesus, fully understanding human nature, addressed their
grief with great empathy. Simply identifying what they were feeling
would have been a comfort to them. But Jesus goes further: “But I
tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not
go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him
to you.”
At Jesus’ words, the disciples might have experienced the
beginnings of hope, but they did not fully understand. Only after
Jesus left them, ascended to the Father, and sent the Holy Spirit
at Pentecost did they begin to understand. And only after living
with the presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives for some time
did they more fully comprehend the depth of this promise. This
reflects our own spiritual journey; it takes time and openness for
the wisdom of God’s plan to unfold in our lives.
Whenever we face grief or confusion, we would benefit from
pondering this exchange between Jesus and the disciples. Romans
8:28 tells us, “We know that all things work for good for those who
love God, who are called according to his purpose.” That means “all
things,” not just some things. When we fully commit ourselves to
God and His perfect will, everything we encounter has the potential
to produce good fruit. Every sorrow, joy, cross, victory, or
persecution, as well as all the emotions that accompany these
experiences, is able to be used as an instrument of God’s grace in
our lives, and through us, in the lives of others.
The reason this is so is because of God’s perfect wisdom. From the
divine perspective, Jesus transformed suffering and death through
His Cross and Resurrection, and nothing is beyond the reach of
God’s power. God can use even something as painful as the tragic
and sudden loss of a loved one for good.
Believing this instills hope in our lives, which is among the three
most important virtues. Faith is the certain belief that God can
work all things for good, and hope is the drive that moves us
toward the fulfillment of that belief. Together, faith and hope
produce charity, the greatest gift of all, the only gift that
endures even in Heaven. Just as the disciples later understood the
value of Jesus’ departure—when they received the Holy Spirit and
discovered that the Lord they loved now lived within them, never to
leave—so we too will come to that same realization when we open
ourselves to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit through prayer,
trust, and surrender to His guidance.
Reflect today on the moment in your life when you faced grief or
loss. Offer that memory to God in prayer, asking Him to reveal how
His grace was at work in that situation, bringing growth, healing,
or a deeper understanding of His love. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill
your heart with faith and hope, trusting that even in the face of
sorrow, God’s perfect plan is unfolding for good.
Lord of perfect wisdom, I do believe that all things work for
the good for those who love You. When I feel pain and grief, please
give me hope. Holy Spirit, please come to me and dwell within me,
so that all I experience will lead to the good You intend. Jesus, I
trust in You.
Image: God the Father, by Jacob Herreyns
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