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Never Off Duty: Perfectionism and Motherhood

Never Off Duty: Perfectionism and Motherhood

Good Inside with Dr. Becky vor 2 Monaten

Dr. Becky talks to Dr. Cassidy Freitas about how perfectionism forms in childhood as a survival strategy, why it works right up until you have a baby, and what it actually looks like to loosen the grip without losing your edge.

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Dr. Cassidy Freitas grew up watching her mom — a Hispanic judge
who fought her way into white male spaces with no margin for
error — come home carrying that same no-error version of herself.
Her dad pushed straight A's as the path to financial safety. She
absorbed all of it.

And then she became a mom.

She had a plan. A written, formatted, shared-with-her-doctor
birth plan. When it fell apart in the operating room — her
daughter already here, her husband saying "look at her," and
Cassidy turning her face away — the drive that had gotten her
through everything else had nothing to offer her.

Dr. Cassidy is a therapist and the author of Mom Needs a
Moment. In this conversation with Dr. Becky, she traces how
perfectionism forms in childhood as a survival strategy, why it
works right up until you have a baby, and what it actually looks
like to loosen the grip without losing your edge.

There's a phrase she comes back to: context is the bridge to
compassion. You can't have compassion for the way perfectionism
shows up in you as a mom if you don't understand where it came
from.

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that can feel most overwhelming in early parenthood.

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