Hi everyone,
Emotional vulnerability changed my life and I can finally say
after 19 years of living I can be comfortable in my own skin and
not regret my decisions of once being a malicious, hurtful human
being. I can own my life decisions without self-loathing and
sabotaging myself of all of my accomplishments.
I couldn't admit my addictions for the life of me. I couldn't
admit that I was stuck in my own ways because I felt like nothing
was wrong. It wasn't until I was 17-18 and pushed away everything
that I loved that I decided it was time to stop running away from
myself. I owned my own decisions and started to open up. It was
hard. I cried. It was never easy, but yet I found it simple. The
key was to be honest, and ask yourself deep, thoughtful questions
about your own life. It's the triggers, the root causes of all of
your suffering. Lust encapsulated my life, my neediness for
reassurance, my trust issues, my commitment issues, being hurt in
relationships, being bullied, dealing with hate crimes, the list
goes on. I really asked myself what was the issue, the root
causes and how it made me feel.
It didn't take me a day. It didn't take me months, and to present
day I slip up here and then being the person I may be, saying
something provocative or something that may not align with my
belief system because of old habit. Those things never went away.
My thoughts sometime still race to blame, to point the fingers
anywhere but myself. Although it's about redefining how you view
EVERYTHING and being extreme for it. How bad do you really want
change? It hurt me so bad, I never wanted to go back. But the
cost of change would outweigh the pain and suffering of my old
self by a large margin. I would do every difficult, boring,
mind-boggling task that came my way to not be the person that I
once was. I am improving, and I work towards that every day. It's
the journey, to fall in love with myself along the way. I don't
live in my own expectations, I don't align myself with others
expectations for who they want me to be, I just am. I am... me. I
am Ace, I am a person of improvement. I am the embodiment of
change, not because I did the most work but because I am so proud
of the little things I could appreciate and achieve physically,
and mentally. To many those things go under the radar or aren't
significant but to me it improved the quality of living so much.
To all of my supporters of my message reading, it really is the
small things. I will unravel 19 years of experience and how I
developed a strong, witty mindset as a young adult to harness the
quality of life I always wanted to achieve. To reach my own
vitality. I overcame so much. I am proud of my sobriety. I am
proud of ME. I want to share my message so you can live the life
I missed out on as a kid, a teenager and as a young adult.
Discipline in private builds CONFIDENCE IN
PUBLIC. I love you all.
https://linktr.ee/journalwithace
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