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“Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put
it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas
answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him,
“Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are
those who have not seen and have believed.” John 20:27–29
Thomas the Apostle, in many ways, represents each and every one of
us in this exchange with Jesus. We’d like to believe that we always
believe and are not unbelieving. But it’s important to admit the
humble truth that we may not believe as deeply as we should. And
it’s important to reflect upon our own reaction to the blessings
that others receive that we do not.
Recall that Thomas was not among the other Apostles when Jesus
first appeared to them. Therefore, when Thomas returned and heard
that Jesus had appeared and that he missed His appearance, he
clearly felt bad. Unfortunately, the sorrow Thomas felt at not
being present when the Lord appeared to the others left him with a
certain bitterness rather than joy. This is the sin of envy. Envy
is a certain sorrow over the blessings others receive that we do
not. Ideally, Thomas would have rejoiced at the blessing that the
other Apostles received by encountering the risen Lord. But,
instead, his sorrow at missing this even left him sad. He said,
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger
into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not
believe.”
Why was Thomas absent from this encounter with our Lord? Perhaps it
was by divine providence, in that God wanted Thomas to set an
example for us. If so, then one example Thomas set was that we must
humbly rejoice in the blessings others receive when we are not also
the recipient. Of course, if Thomas were there, then it would
have been easier for him to share in the joy. But, in many ways,
Thomas’ absence provided him an even greater opportunity. An
opportunity that he failed to embrace.
When you see others receive blessings from God, how do you respond?
Many people respond by immediately looking at themselves, wishing
they were blessed in the same way. They struggle with envy. They
think, “I wish I had received that blessing.” This form of envy is
not always easy to see. For that reason, Thomas is given to us as a
witness of what not to do in this situation.
Of course, Thomas is not a horrible person, which is why Jesus does
later appear to him. That time, Thomas spoke words that are
traditionally spoken as a devotion by the faithful at Mass when the
Consecration occurs. He said, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus then
gently rebukes Thomas by saying, “Have you come to believe because
you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have
believed.” But this gentle rebuke was an act of love, in that Jesus
wanted Thomas to ponder the reason for his unbelief. Jesus clearly
wanted Thomas to examine the unbelief caused by envy, which appears
to have led to an intentional lack of faith.
Reflect, today, upon this holy Apostle. Today, Saint Thomas the
Apostle is among the great saints in the Kingdom of Heaven. God
used him to teach us these important lessons about envy, humility
and faith. Let his weakness, from which he fully recovered, help
you examine your own struggle with envy over the blessings that
others receive that you do not. Learn to rejoice always in the ways
that God is at work in our world and learn to grow in humility, so
that when others are blessed in ways that you are not, you react as
Saint Thomas ultimately did: “My Lord and my God!”
My most generous Lord, You pour forth Your blessings upon
others, day and night. As I see those blessings, help me to
overcome all temptations toward envy so that I may rejoice in Your
grace given to all. You are my Lord and my God, and I thank You for
every way that You bless my life and the lives of those around me.
Fill me with a deeper gratitude, dear Lord, for every grace and
blessing I see every day, especially those graces not given
directly to me. Jesus, I trust in You.
Caravaggio, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
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