“I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what
his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told
you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who
chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear
fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my
name he may give you. This I command you: love one another.” John
15:15–17
Just prior to the passage quoted above, Jesus says, “You are my
friends if you do what I command you.” Is that the measure of true
friendship? That we do what our friend commands us to do? That
depends upon which friend we are speaking about.
There are many images we use for God. We call Him Father, Savior,
Master, Lord, King, Redeemer, Spirit and Friend. When it comes to
God as our divine Friend, it is important to understand the nature
of that friendship properly. Jesus’ friendship is not one that
simply makes us “buddies.” Friendship with our Lord is not the same
as a friendship between two equals. He is God. And because He is
God, our friendship with Him takes on unique characteristics that
are not present in other friendships. With that said, there could
be no greater friend than the Lord Himself.
Among humans, our friendships have various foundations. It could be
that two people have mutual interests and they enjoy engaging in
those interests together. It could be that two people have spent
much pleasant time together since childhood. Or it could be that
two people have endured some difficulty together and that
experience has bonded them together. But according to Saint Thomas
Aquinas, friendship in its purest form is based on just one thing:
mutual charity.
Charity is the form of love that is purely selfless. It’s a way of
relating to another in which a person’s sole focus is the good of
the other. It is not based on one’s own self interests. It’s not a
matter of “what do I get out of it?” In 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, St.
Paul defines the love of charity this way: “Love is patient, love
is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not
quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice
over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love
never fails.” This is not only the definition of charity, it is
also the only foundation for true friendship.
When you consider all of these qualities of charity, you will find
that God relates to us in each of these ways. For that reason, God
offers us the purest friendship possible. Whether or not we
reciprocate these qualities to God will determine the depth of the
bond of friendship that we establish with Him. But there is more.
When we love God, we must love Him in a way that is proper and
proportionate to Who God is. For example, if we offer charity to
God, we seek to fulfill only God’s interests and rejoice in the
Truth of Who He is. Thus, the charity we offer to God comes in the
form of worship. He is God and is worthy of worship, adoration,
surrender, trust and perfect obedience. When it is God we are
loving, the very essence of the Person we love requires these
responses.
One beautiful and consoling thing to recognize with this form of
charity given to God is that it also establishes a true friendship
with God. When we offer our worship to God, we are in a position to
receive the very life of God in return. And the giving of
ourselves, coupled with the reception of the life of God,
establishes a bond of holy friendship that will transform us, unite
us with Him and fulfill us to perfection. Friendship with God makes
us one with Him and opens us to receive everything that He shares
with us—namely, His very Self.
Reflect, today, upon the invitation Jesus has offered you to enter
into a true friendship with Him. This means that God becomes the
center of your life. It means that you seek to give yourself,
selflessly and without reserve, to Him Who is deserving of all your
love. It means you choose worship and obedience to perfection. The
reward of such love is that you are able to enter into a bond that
is so holy, so pure and so fulfilling that it completes you,
enabling you to become who you were meant to be.
My God and true Friend, You offer me everything in life. You offer
me Your perfect love, given fully and without reserve. I pray that
I will reciprocate that depth of love and offer to You all that You
deserve. I offer You my love, worship and obedience, dear Lord. May
this mutual love form a bond that will never end. Jesus, I trust in
You.
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