Jesus came into the district of Judea and across the Jordan. Again
crowds gathered around him and, as was his custom, he again taught
them. The Pharisees approached him and asked, “Is it lawful for a
husband to divorce his wife?” They were testing him. Mark
10:1–2
Notice the contrast above. The crowds gathered around Jesus to
listen to Him. Clearly, they were coming to faith. But the
Pharisees came to Jesus to test Him. They did not come in faith;
they came with jealousy and envy and were already seeking to trap
Him. The question they proposed was a trick question, not an honest
attempt at communication with our Lord. They presumed that however
Jesus answered the question, some people would be offended. The
Pharisees were ready to stir things up, since so many were flocking
to Jesus. Also, the Pharisees wanted to find fault with Jesus’
answer so as to show that He opposed the Law of Moses. But Jesus’
answer was perfect.
Much could be said about the content of Jesus’ answer. He clearly
supports the indissolubility of marriage. He states that “what God
has joined together, no human being must separate.” He adds:
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another,
she commits adultery.” For those who have suffered through a
divorce, it is important to prayerfully ponder this teaching from
our Lord. It is also important to work with the Church Tribunal to
examine the marriage in the light of truth so that a determination
can be made about the validity or invalidity of the marriage bond.
With that said, the approach that both the crowds and the Pharisees
took toward Jesus also teaches us an important lesson about
communication, not only with God but also with one another. This is
a lesson that is especially important for married couples to
learn.
Think about your own approach to communication. When you struggle
with conflict with another, how do you resolve it? How do you bring
your questions and concerns to your spouse? The crowds came to
Jesus to listen and understand. The reward was the gift of faith in
that they received a deeper knowledge of Who Jesus was. The
Pharisees, however, came to Jesus with the intent of finding fault
with Him. And though it is obviously foolish to take this approach
with our Lord, it is also foolish to do so with another, especially
a spouse.
Use the above approaches of the crowds and the Pharisees to think
about how you come to others with your questions and concerns. When
there is some conflict or misunderstanding, do you come with an
open mind and heart, seeking to understand and resolve the
question? Or do you come with a loaded question so as to trap and
find fault with the other? So many conflicts in life with others,
especially among spouses, could be resolved if the goal of any
conversation was simply to understand the other person, not trap
them or find fault with them. This is hard for many people to do
and requires much humility and openness.
Reflect, today, upon any relationship with which you are currently
struggling. Reflect, especially, upon whether your approach to
communication with that person is more like the crowds or more like
the Pharisees. Commit yourself to the approach of seeking open and
honest communication and you will find that this commitment brings
true resolution, peace and unity.
Lord of all truth, You desire that I always come to You with
sincerity, honesty and humility, seeking resolution to every
internal question and conflict I face. You call me to approach
others with this same depth of communication. Give me the grace to
always seek the unity and truth that result in peace of mind and
heart. Jesus, I trust in You.
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Featured images above: Christ among the Pharisees By Jacob
Jordaens, via Wikimedia Commons
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