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He answered, “Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom
that is granted.” Matthew 19:11
This was Jesus’ response to a lengthy discussion about the
indissolubility of marriage. One of the reasons that “Not all can
accept this word…” is because marriage, and every other vocation,
requires wholehearted sacrifice and selflessness. When this is not
present, and when the selfless living that is required of us turns
to selfishness, then every conflict becomes a heavy burden. A
burden that is unbearable without grace.
What is love? What form of love is required in marriage and every
other vocation? What love is required of parents and grandparents?
The answer is the same to all of these questions. We must love with
complete selflessness and in a sacrificial way. Love, in its truest
form, always looks to the good of the other and never focuses upon
oneself.
Only grace can enable us to live a life based on true love. Our
fallen human nature tends to “navel gaze,” meaning, we tend to go
through life thinking about ourselves—“What will make my life
better? How will this affect me? This person has hurt me. I don’t
want to do this or that, etc.” It is very difficult in life to turn
our eyes from ourselves to the love of others. This is why Jesus
said that this form of love can only be embraced by “those to whom
that is granted.” And those to whom this depth of love is granted
are those who are open to God’s transforming grace in their
lives.
One reason that it is very difficult to love in a completely
selfless way is because it requires us to live by grace. Our feeble
human minds cannot arrive at the high calling of charity by itself.
It is only by grace that we will understand that selfless living is
not only best for those whom we are called to love, but it is also
best for us. And in the context of married life, parenting, other
vocations and every other situation in life, if our love is always
focused upon the good of the other, and if our lives imitate the
total sacrifice of Christ, then we will see God do great things
through us. As He does, we will also see God do great things in us.
The bottom line is that we only become who we were made to be when
we live like Christ. And He lived a life that was unconditionally
sacrificial and selfless.
Reflect, today, upon the high calling of love that you have been
given. Can you accept this teaching of our Lord? Has an
understanding of the nature of true love been granted to you by
grace? And if so, are you doing all you can to live a life of
selfless sacrificial love in union with Christ Jesus? As you
examine your life and your relationships, especially with those
closest to you, consider how well you act as Christ to them.
Consider whether you forgive, turn the other cheek, seek mercy,
compassion, understanding, gentleness and every other virtue and
fruit of the Holy Spirit. Where you are lacking and find
selfishness, do not hesitate to beg our Lord to grant you the grace
to not only understand your high calling of love, but to also
embrace it in your actions to the fullest degree. Then, and only
then, will you be able to live the vocation to which you have been
called.
My loving Lord, Your love is beyond all comprehension. It is a
love that can only be understood by the gift of Your grace. Please
do grant me the grace I need to not only understand and to receive
Your love in my life but to also offer Your love to all. May my
life become an ongoing instrument of the perfection of love that
You lived. Jesus, I trust in You.
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Featured image above: Jesus Preaches in a Ship By James
Tissot, via Wikimedia Commons
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